Curfews, Bill Clinton and Chain Smoking Hikers (Kosovo)

Why visit one Balkan country when you can visit them all?! There was never really any chance that I was going to miss Kosovo out of my tour, even though it wasn’t the easiest place to get to and it didn’t exactly fit with my plan to reach Romania overland. But as is often the case, the greater effort the greater the reward. Since Serbia (and also Russia and China) do not recognise Kosovo as an independent state despite the International Court of Justice ruling Kosovo a sovereign nation in 2010, the order of border crossings is important. If you enter Kosovo via Serbia then leave via another bordering country, you’ll be missing the Serbian exit stamp. Likewise if you try to enter Serbia from Kosovo, there may not be an official record of you entering Serbia.

When I asked people in Belgrade about getting into Kosovo, I always seemed to hit a brick wall with no bus services showing up online. But when I got to North Macedonia, I enquired again and found several daily, direct routes from Skopje to the capital of Kosovo, Pristina which is only a couple of hours away. Result!

The battered old minivan got me into cooler Pristina on time and the rain cleared. Too early to check in to my hostel, I went for lunch and soon realised three things. Firstly just how cheap it is here. Kosovo ranks third on the poorest countries in Europe after Moldova and the Ukraine. A large pizza in a restaurant restaurant cost €1.50. You need to pay for things in cash and you need coins – I don’t think I ever spent more than a few euros in one go. Secondly, there aren’t a lot of tourists, everyone I met asked me where I was from and what football team I support. Thirdly, Pristina was in a semi-lockdown with a 10pm curfew and the police stopped me in the street to ask me (very nicely!) to wear a mask.

Kosovo is Europe’s newest country, as signified by the Newborn monument. There’s even a newborn bus stop. The median age of the population is only 30 years with half of the 2 million residents under 25, who still need a visa to enter the EU which makes travel difficult.

Bill Clinton, whose name you better not mention in Serbia has a statue and an entire street in his name due to his involvement in the 1999 conflict. Hoping to learn more, I went to the tiny and quite charming national musem which appeared closed until I noticed the man sticking his head around the door inviting me to go in. Entry is on a donation basis (I just added to the pile of €5 notes).

The musem entrance displays a huge mosaic made out of staples of that local favourite Mother Teresa, and the other couple of rooms contain various US army clothing and weapons, and some ancient looking artefacts that were on display on podiums without any kind of protection which I was terrified of knocking over. Unfortunately there was no information in English so after looking around long enough to be fairly confident of not offending the man, I went for a wander around the city.

No idea why this is in the museum

Pristina has a main pedestrian street lined with restaurants where I had one of my weirdest meals so far. ‘Vegetable noodles’ on the menu accompanied by a photograph of Asian style food translated into spaghetti hoops in tomato sauce and such a huge portion that the waiter asked why I didn’t finish it and didn’t I enjoy it.

The upside of a 10pm curfew is a very sociable hostel, where we all headed out early for dinner to avoid a fine then retired to the common room for a few drinks and games of chess.

Doing a Queen’s Gambit

I had mentioned my plans to head west to the city of Peja the following day, popular for hiking in the Accursed Mountains, when the owner of the Oda hostel, Jeton, suggested an alternative. The “Kosovo Hiking” group go every weekend on an organised hike for just €12. Tomorrow they were going to the mountains and forests around the Lubinjës area, and could conveniently drop me in my next destination of Prizren at the end. This all sounded great except it meant a 5.45 wakeup call. I very nearly called it off in order to continue the curfew party but decided it would be good for me.

Sunday morning I dragged myself and my luggage uphill for the half hour walk to the bus stop where I’d meet the group at 6.30. I came very close to turning back atleast 3 times. Firstly when I saw the rest of the group waiting to board the bus – hiking sticks, walking boots, all the gear on and I realised I didn’t have a lot of information about today. I had simply got a phone number from Jeton and messaged them to put my name down. Secondly, when I asked the guide, kitted out in bright lycra embalazoned with ‘Hike to the Maxxx!’ looking like he’s about to summit Mount Everest, how difficult it was going to be and he cheerfully replied ‘oh its not that difficult, if you’re a hiker’. And thirdly when I realised that I had left my lunch in the hostel fridge but I was assured that we would be stopping to buy supplies. I eventually realised I wasn’t getting out of it so took a seat on the bus.

After an hours drive we had twenty minutes to dash around one of the biggest supermarkets I’ve ever been in, Supermarket Sweep style, flashes of neon clothing everywhere as the 130 people in the group ran around clutching bananas and protein bars preparing for a week’s expedition. My own panic buying was further fuelled by a fellow hiker behind me in the queue trying to be helpful by telling me I didn’t have ENOUGH snacks so I grabbed a handful more.

My and my fellow hikers

When we eventually set off I was amazed at the turnout – I can’t see 21 year old British lads going hiking every Sunday morning. The few foreigners on the trip somehow found each other and we formed a little group with Erdisa from Albania translating the rules for us – smoking and playing music is OK, just keep a little distance from the group!

There’s a path here somewhere

This was a hike like no other – 130 mostly young people, three guides and numerous smoking / rest stops where there were more than enough snacks to go around.

Even our local guide smoked

No smoking for our superfit leader, a dentist by day who made it his mission to challenge the stereotype of middle aged hiking groups and get the youth of Kosovo, particularly females, out into nature. His enthusiasm was infectious and as soon as we started climbing and the clouds cleared I remembered I am actually a hiker and I do actually enjoy this!

We stopped at an old UN building at the peak of our hike for a fire and lunch, after passing through some remote Bulgarian villages before getting into the mountains. As well as the stunning views throughout, 8 hours and 20km uphill and downhill is much more enjoyable when you are sharing the experience and having a laugh. Also the stick helped (thanks Art!). Although it was soon apparent that ‘nearly there!’ and ‘half an hour away!’ have no meaning in Kosovo and nobody really knew where ‘there’ was.

Wild blueberries
My little group of Artrit, Erdisa, Nicasia, Arban and Shotiko

Dropped off in Prizren at the end of a long but satisfying day I treated myself to a nice hotel with a balcony and views over the mountains and went straight to bed.

In daylight I was struck by how much Prizren reminded me of Berat, Albania, which makes sense given that this area is largely Albanian.

Prizren has a very different feel to Pristina, with a beautiful Fortress up on the hillside and an abundance of churches and mosques connected by old cobbled streets. I spent an enjoyable day wandering around, climbing up to the Fortress and not caring that I probably paid way over the odds for some local jewellery.

View from the Fortress

I made another friend when a gorgeous dog came and sat on my feet. Another one joined us for a walk around the town and I found it amusing when a group of tourists were scared of ‘my’ dogs.

No guns in the mosque

The video from my balcony below sums up the city for me with the call to prayer from the mosques echoing over the party from the bars, with a church in the background.

Kosovo was a late addition to my itinerary and not your usual holiday destination but I highly recommend visiting if you get the chance. This is an incredibly beautiful country with unlimited hiking opportunities, easy enough to navigate between the major cities on public transport and I felt very welcome as a visitor. Now to begin the journey to my final destination Romania, via Albania and Greece…

Detour to North Macedonia

When I saw North Macedonia next door to Serbia on the map I knew I had to go there. When else was I going to visit?! A glutton for punishment, I booked a 7 hour bus from Belgrade to Macedonia’s capital city of Skopje (pronounced Skopia), prepared for an uncomfortable ride and long delays. When a huge coach pulled up on time, the driver had an envelope with my name on containing my printed ticket and I found wifi, reclining seats and only a handful of other passengers I wasn’t sure I was even on the right bus. We made a stop for coffee and I enjoyed the mountain scenery, and a smooth border crossing where the customs officer was too busy on a video call to take much notice.

View from my hotel in Skopje

I checked out of my budget hotel early the next morning to bus it a few more hours south to the tranquility of Lake Ohrid, close to the border with Albania (Albanians make up a minority of around 25% in North Macedonia). The man at reception asked me ‘Did you see the statues?’ – I hadn’t -‘Go and look, they cost so much money someone has to see them!’. I put “statues” on my list of things see on my way back through Skopje.

Sunset over the lake

As soon as I arrived in Lake Ohrid I loved it. It gave me a feeling of South East Asia in the Balkans. I booked into Villa Jovan, a traditional style guest house and still only €20 for a room with bathroom, albeit an absolutely tiny room. But I loved the old features and atmosphere.

Looking up at the houses from the narrow streets

With perfect, random timing that occurs when travelling, I got chatting to Nadica who had just returned to her hometown and started helping out at the Villa. She introduced me to Laure from Paris, who by another coincidence I had been sitting at the table next to at lunch. The three of us spent a wonderful evening together having food and drinks and a midnight wander along the wooden bridges to the Fortress. The final piece of the puzzle was that Laure had reserved one extra spot on her boat trip the following day just in case she met anyone at the guesthouse who wanted to go – me, as I had enquired earlier but been told I needed a bigger group!

Ohrid by day is beautiful. You could easily think you’re at the beach rather than the shores of one of the deepest lakes in Europe. A lovely feature is the set of wooden bridges that take you around the lake past a few restaurants and up to the Fortress, and hiking trails provide access through the woodlands, just right for sunset walks.

Those rickety wooden bridges

There are 365 churches in Ohrid, one for everyday of the year. A couple of days here is perfect for strolling throughout the old town drinking proper coffee and sampling Macedonian wine which is really good!

One of the 365 churches

The boat trip turned out to be a beautiful day, with comfy lounger style seats and music playing as we cruised all day, stopping at various monasteries and swimming spots.

Home for the day
Old amphitheatre in Ohrid
Boat trip

One of the more bizarre sights was the ‘Bay of Bones’. This is described as a ‘Reconstructed village of stilt houses displaying Bronze & Iron Age items recovered from Lake Ohrid’. The original settlement is considered to be over 3000 years old, with excavation of mainly animal bones taking place between 1997 and 2005. Nowadays the replica huts are filled with animal skins and pieces of furniture that I couldn’t identify.

I finally saw a tortoise wandering around and a peacock – apparently very dangerous! A sign further along emphasised they can harm not only you but also your children…

Instead of taking the bus back, Nadica introduced me to Macedonian car sharing where you post in a local Facebook group where you want to go and split the cost with others driving that way. I ended up with Harry who seemed to actually be a taxi driver who makes the journey a few times a week and another passenger on her way to gig rehearsals. It made for an interesting journey even though it actually took longer than the bus as Harry drove round for an hour looking for someone he had to drop off a pair of shoes to.

Beautiful for swimming
One of the more run down style buildings

North Macedonia, formally know as simply Macedonia, gained independence from Yugoslavia in 1991. It’s another country I had very little knowledge of and unfortunately I didn’t find any history tours to learn more.

Back in Skopje, it didn’t take long to find the famous statues. Constructed as part of the “Skopje 2004” redevelopment in an effort to attract tourism, these things are huge, they are everywhere and there is a joke that there are more of them than people in this city of 600,000. What is clear is that the locals hate them. The biggest is Alexander the Great on a horse and it’s taller than the next door buildings, which is hard to capture in a photo so here is a video.

Even the bridges over the Vardar river, the Art Bridge and the Stone Bridge, are covered in statues, as is the entrance to the largest old bazaar outside of Turkey.

Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa lived in her hometown of Skopje from 1910 to 1928 so there is a small house dedicated to her, mostly containing photographs. There isn’t much else to do here other than see the statues but I liked Skopje, it is maybe a bit weird but in a good way!

Skopje has London buses!
Litter is unfortunately a big problem in the Balkans

One good thing about Skopje is that it has direct bus connections, that are NOT cancelled due to Covid, into neighbouring Kosovo. Now that’s a travel opportunity too good to miss…

House of the Holy War (Belgrade, Serbia)

I had no pre-conceptions of Belgrade but had a feeling there would be plenty to do over the three nights I was planning to stay whilst I worked out plans for my next destination. What I found was a very cool capital city, with the boats running up and down the river Danube by night playing up to Belgrade’s reputation as party capital of Europe. Partying with 18 year olds doing drugs isn’t my usual scene even on a Saturday night so I gave it a miss in favour of a night time wander around the fortress and a cocktail at the Basta jazz bar with a few of the yoga girls who were also spending a night in the city.

Belgrade by night
Not sure that Elvis is jazz but we enjoyed it

Apparently some planning in advanced is actually required as I did not know that everything is shut on Mondays, the day I had designated for doing basically everything. I spent the morning walking 20,000 steps back and forth from closed museum to closed restaurant. The one vegetarian restaurant I wanted to visit managed to be closed the entire time I was in the area.

Left to right : communist style flats, Ottoman style house and Austro-Hungarian building in one street

The smaller city of Novi Sad was on my list of places to see in Serbia so I joined a day trip in order to also take in some of the hundreds of churches in the area. I found out on the bus that it also included wine tasting in the picturesque town of Sremski Karlovci, which most of us agreed was actually a case of ‘have a small glass of wine for free’ – very nice Serbian dessert wine but not exactly a wine tasting experience!

We stopped at the Krusedol Monastery which has some really beautiful frescos inside that you are actually allowed to take photos of for once (paintings on the walls). Note that women are not permitted to enter behind the curtain and during services men stand on one side, being below God, and women stand on the other, being below men – something that our female guide said she is fine with. My male tour guide later on in Belgrade said the monks just live off the state and get drunk at funerals, painting a picture of a very corrupt Church in a predominantly Orthodox Christian country.

‘Drunk clock’ – the hands are the wrong way around to make the time easier to see for sailors on the river

Novi Sad itself is small and pretty, with the usual views from a fortress I’ve come to expect in this part of the world. Unfortunately none of us actually got to see any of the city (other than Yelena who had the foresight to do her own thing) as the rest of us opted for a group lunch. This meant we sat at a restaurant for the entire two hours free time, first waiting for food (I twice found chicken in my veggie pasta even after sending it back the first time and eating half of the replacement where they had clearly just tried and failed to pick the pieces out) then waiting to pay where the staff had a meltdown over splitting the bill and shouted at us ‘have you ever been to a restaurant before?’!

The uneventful day ended on a high as I met these two lovely girls, Liesel from South Africa and Yelena from the US. After the tour we bought drinks and watched the sunset over the Danube from the Fortress…. along with half of Belgrade from the number of Instagram photoshoots going on.

Here the kiosks on the street corners don’t just sell you a bottle of cider, they even open it for you. This made us so excited we happily got ripped off by taking a photo with the students hanging around the fortress dressed as soldiers and topping up their beer money.

Chandelier made from bullets in the church at the fortress
You’re free to climb all over the Fortress but as the sign says, entry may result in death

A travel concept that has totally passed me by until now is the ‘air bnb experience’ – thanks Liesel for the recommendation! On her advice I booked my first experience with the lovely Sava who took me and two others on a walk through Belgrade. He showed us some really cool local spots including hidden speakeasies and clubs disguised as run down buildings covered in graffiti, and where to buy a Yugoslavian 1,000,000,000 note.

Derelict house or club?

After the barrage of war history in Bosnia and Herzegovina and Albania, this was much more focused on the Serbia of today. Sava also said there is very low crime in Belgrade as potential muggers know that Serbians will fight back…

I managed to get in the National Museum of Serbia on Tuesday morning. My idea of a museum visit is a quick look around until I’m bored. This is impossible in Belgrade as there is a one way system that the security guards, positioned in every room, will insist that you follow and if you try to skip something, they will somehow know this and make sure you go back and look at that painting. After an hour or so I could not pretend to look at any more European art so made my escape, feeling guilty as one of the guards appeared at the exit to wave goodbye.

One of the interesting paintings on wood that I liked the style of

If they had been open on Monday I would have visited both the Tesla Museum and Tito Museum, but luckily Belgrade is also the perfect place for sitting at pavement cafes, drinking coffee and people watching. Three days was otherwise enough and unable able to resist the lure of another passport stamp I booked onto a bus going south to North Macedonia…

Sunrise, Snakes and Finding Myself (Again) in Serbia (Part One)

When one of the women on the minibus to my next yoga retreat asked “so what is the general feeling on bringing alcohol?” I knew that we would become friends. Eight of us had just joined the bus in Belgrade, driven by a man who was built like the mountains he was transporting us into and who didn’t speak a word of English. My instructions on finding him at the meeting point were ‘he’s a big guy, you can’t miss him – he speaks no English and has a white van’ – what could go wrong?! Nothing as it turns out – when we stopped for delicious food and drinks enroute to the Tara National Park it was apparent that he was a sweetheart as demonstrated by the local kittens who couldn’t get enough of him.

Friendly giant

I sold out against my principles to do this entire trip overland and chose to fly to Belgrade from Podgerica, instead of taking the 11 hour train (I was put off by stories of several more hours of delays and operating within a narrow window to enter Serbia with my negative result from a brutal PCR test I did not want to repeat), having signed up for a week with ‘My Yogic Adventure’. The lovely woman behind this brilliant yoga holiday concept is Marija, whose philosophy is if she doesn’t love it, she won’t host it. And this week she is hosting a group of 12 at a traditional mountain lodge in the perfect, peaceful setting on the Tara Mountain, close to the Bosnia and Herzegovina border. It’s so good I don’t really want to share it!

Mountain Lodge

The Lodge is called Tarweek and can also be booked independently, ideal if you have a car. It’s fairly simple (single rooms have shared bathrooms) but has a huge kitchen, living area and the slopes of the mountain as a garden. Best of all is the group of like minded women it has attracted – within a few hours it’s like we’re old friends.

Tall, tall trees

All aboard the school bus on our way to the mountains, we stopped at a small shop to panic buy snacks as only breakfast and dinner are included. Why yoga retreats like to skip lunch I don’t know?! Back to the pressing question, Marija has said that we are all adults and can decide for ourselves if we want to drink or detox, so red wine was added to the shopping list along with a ridiculous amount of bread and dried fruit.

Morning views

We settled into a daily routine of rising early for silent mornings (that means no talking!) and two hours of yoga and meditation before breakfast prepared by our gorgeous Russian chef Katya who cooks our meals whilst also working as a translator and riding around on her motorbike.

That’s me on the end

Breakfast is usually followed by a group hike through the forest to one of many viewpoints, before an afternoon yoga / stretching session and wonderful sociable dinners. The days conclude with evening games, stargazing or songs around the fire wrapped in huge blankets – the temperature drops considerably up here and I finally got to make use of my fleece. September is in fact perfect hiking weather, a refreshing change to the heat of the Balkans.

Caught talking at silent sunrise
Caught again poking the giant mushrooms

There is an abundance of wildlife in the national park and on the first hike I almost tripped over this beauty, nothing less than a Viper as it was hanging out on the path before making it’s way into the bushes. The unfortunate video commentary ‘it’s just a shoelace’ referred to another much smaller and likely already dead snake, and either Ivana didn’t have her glasses on or Serbians only count the poisonous varieties!

Definitely not a shoelace
Possibly a shoelace?

Sadly despite many warning signs I didn’t see a single bear (“Bear Brown Lay Down, Bear Black Fight Back, Bear White Good Night”) and I think I was the only person who wanted to see one – but there were plenty of dogs roaming around, observing our yoga practice and accompanying us on sunrise walks. Though this particular dog ensured it was the least silent sunrise of the week.

Photo credit to Janet
Take ten after considerable coaching from Emina
Banjska Stena viewpoint

No yoga retreat would be complete without a fire, this time accompanied by intention setting under the New Moon, some tunes on the guitar and red wine thanks to second wine instigator Julia.

The night sky here is astounding. You need to be on a mountain to see the Milky Way like this – the following photo is stolen from fellow yogi Sen’s father Darius, the only man on the retreat.

Dinner time

Silent mornings and in particular silent sunrise were a revelation. This is peace and quiet to enjoy the nature but you’re not alone. This type of retreat is not prison – everything is optional – but most people choose to take part in most activities. 20 mins of meditation may seem daunting, as may getting up at 5.30 for sunrise, but when you have the quiet support of people around you it becomes doable. I was further sure this is my kind of yoga retreat when Marija offered me an afternoon expresso and I could enjoy my snacks in public with the rest of the group rather than guiltily in my room like in Montenegro.

Morning hike

Maybe I was lucky to find a group with a wicked sense of humour – laughing is also therapy, proven when we went kayaking and Janet (minibus wine instigator) and I got stuck going in circles as the rest of the group disappeared around the Canyon. Eventually we decided to chill instead of chasing them and had a very relaxing time, arriving back just five minutes before the group – of course nobody believed that we hadn’t been lazing in hammocks the entire time. We found out later that the instructor didn’t completely give up on us, he was apparently checking we were still upright via his mobile phone camera albeit using the zoom facility to the max.

“Go right!” “But where are we going?!” – nowhere as it turned out
Taking the evening games very seriously

One of the more bizarre attractions is the peat bog in Crveni Potok which is fenced off to preserve it (you can jump up and down and feel how springy it is elsewhere in the forest). A sign said it dates back 9000 years but neither Janet nor I could muster much excitement over this particular view.

Peat bog
No bears in sight, just Emina and Janet
Mountain fashion isn’t going to cut it in Belgrade

Time flies when you have a routine and all too quickly the week came to an end. I was unsure how I’d survive the city and make my own decisions on what time to eat or what to wear… Separate post on Serbia’s cool capital, Belgrade, coming next.

Return to the Mountains (Montenegro Part Two)

The silver lining to going around in a circle to get back to Montenegro was meeting Monique on the bus that I hadn’t intended to take. We bonded when she donated 50 cents for me to use the toilet (hole in the ground) at good old Podgorica bus station as I didn’t have any money left, having traded the last of my Albanian Lek with the bus driver in order to purchase the ticket for the next leg of the journey. Monique also shouted me a coffee as we waited for our second bus which would take me to the city of Bar and her to Ulcinj (that town that we had been less than 45 mins away from the same morning). It always amazes me that when you’re travelling it’s perfectly acceptable to swap numbers with a stranger and invite them to hang out the next day, but if you did that in the UK you’d probably get a very different reaction.

Bus buddies
Interesting cargo on the road

My final stop in Montenegro was ‘The Grove’, the only accommodation I had booked before leaving the UK as I had a feeling it would be my kind of place. The Grove is a beautiful converted olive mill nestled between the mountains outside of Stari Bar (the old town of Bar). After the usual half hour walking around in the heat with my bags looking for an ATM I couldn’t be bothered to wait two hours for the local bus nor haggle with the taxi drivers so I paid the rip-off price of €10 to get straight out of main Bar (there’s nothing really to see there) and up to the village.

The grounds of The Grove

The Grove has to be one of the most stunningly unique places I’ve had the pleasure of staying in. Incredibly spacious with a huge shared kitchen and a two storey open lounge area, the selling point (and it was actually up for sale when I visited!) has to be the massive garden with its own spring (pure drinking water), firepit and pizza oven. Add a few cats and chickens wandering around as well as a beer fridge operating on a trust system and you’ve got an instantly sociable setting.

Obligatory hammock shot

The current owners Chris and Zoe also go out of their way to make it a friendly place, organising hikes to waterfalls and getting the fire going at night. This was the perfect base for 5 nights of doing nothing.

Group singalong by the fire
Mountain setting

The next day instead of doing nothing I jumped back on the bus to meet new friend Monique in the smaller coastal town of Ulcinj. Beach days are better with friends and a female friend means you can visit Ladies Beach… despite the seedy looking signs this is not the Montenegro Stringfellows, it is the nicest, most comfortable beach setting that I experienced in Montenegro. The key feature of Ladies Beach is that no men are allowed – sorry guys! Two bouncer types sitting at the entrance were presumably making sure only people who looked like women entered. There are even green sheets hanging from the trees that blend in with the forest to make sure there are no prying eyes. Down the stairs awaits a gorgeous secluded cove with turquoise, sulphur water and caves to explore, sunbeds dotted around the rocks with a €4 price tag and a restaurant with a waitress who will bring huge plates of watermelon to your spot. I’m not sure this could get any better, with women of all ages and ethnicities feeling comfortable to wear swimsuits or nothing at all.

Ladies Beach – not actually a strip club
Modesty protection

Ulcinj itself has its fair share of souvenir shops but this is offset by a lovely fortress, as is usual in Montenegro. There is a distinctly romantic theme to the sunset bars which we enjoyed with a cocktail and a wander through the cobbled streets until I had missed the last bus back. Apparently once it gets to 9pm the taxi companies have closed, but luckily Monique’s hotel was run by two amusing brothers in their 60s, one of whom disappeared into the night and eventually came back with a man prepared to drive me home, who was actually an economics graduate who lost his job in banking in the pandemic and now helps his father driving taxis.

Ulcinj fort at sunset
Sound on for romantic tunes
‘Money Heist’ themed bar in Ulcinj – no idea why

Stari Bar is the old town of Bar – Stari meaning old – and has my favourite fortress so far. It costs just €2 to enter and is deceptively huge. Monique is the Queen of Instagram photography i.e. she takes sneaky shots when you genuinely are unaware so I ended up with what are likely to be the most flattering photos I’ll get for some time.

Within the fortress walls

The fortress is well worth a visit, there is the remains of the tower to climb, the church and ruins of the palace, all with amazing mountain views of course.

Mosaic in the fortress

The thing about staying somewhere special like The Grove is that it tends to attract like minded people. There were always people to hike to a rock pool with, or share a home cooked dinner in the evening.

Naturally we had to climb down for a dip
A day in Montenegro is not complete if you don’t swim under a waterfall
Hiking expedition

And that concludes Montenegro for me, having backtracked through the country twice I have seen all I need to and feel I accidentally saved the best until last. I’m leaving for Serbia just as the UK puts Montenegro on the dreaded ‘red list’ and just when tourism was picking up, as are lots of other visitors who funnily enough would prefer to spend two weeks in the neighbouring countries and enjoy the September sunshine rather than give a couple of thousand quid to the UK government in a ‘quarantine hotel’…

Albania – Bunkers, BMWs and Non Existent Buses

Albania wasn’t even on my radar until fellow backpackers I met in Montenegro were telling me that the neighbouring country was well worth a visit. At the end of my first day in the capital, Tirana, I could see why.

Transport from Sarajevo to Podgorica

The bus journey here from Sarajevo through Montenegro was an unexpected highlight – a cramped looking minibus was surprisingly comfortable as it transported us through the mountains, in and out of mini tunnels and on the edge of the Tara Canyon which got some whoops from the children on board. I had to spend an uneventful night enroute in Montenegro’s capital, Podgorica. It is known as the ‘most boring capital city in Europe’ but I was still expecting to find somewhere open for food. Pasta and a can of beer in the hostel kitchen was as good as it got (the miserable supermarket checkout lady wouldn’t let me purchase a bottle, which I only found out later was because you’re supposed to return the empty for recycling).

Border control
Podgerica – don’t bother

Back on another bus the next day and there was no searching of bags at the Montenegro / Albania border crossing – we didn’t even step off the bus, instead the driver simply collected our passports and handed them back to us nicely stamped into the country. When the slightly gangster looking young man (Albanian mafia featured in the movie Taken apparently) sitting next to me shared his pack of biscuits I got my first taste of Albanian hospitality towards visitors to their country.

Olives on sale at the service stop…
… Along with some more interesting items
Video of the bus journey – worth it just for the views

Tirana is a really lively city with plenty of space, both urban and green. I was pleased to find a huge park to wander around and especially pleased to find a ‘cooling station’, like an open doorway that sprays cool air as you pass through.

Tirana opera house

I stayed at the gorgeous Garden Hostel which includes a breakfast buffet in the garden and a very warm welcome from the brother and sister team. I also got to check out the bunker that is under their house, with room for over 80 people (each seat has a number). Bunkers are a common sight in Tirana – by 1983 there were 173,371 bunkers in Albania, built in the 1960s and 1970s during Enver Hoxha’s Stalinist rule. This was known as bunkerisation.

Bunker under my guesthouse
Communist propoganda on the walls

The first thing I noticed in Albania is that almost every single car is either a BMW or Mercedes, and a battered up old car at that. On every corner is a car flashing it’s German logo looking like it’s weathered a fair few accidents.

With just one night here, I wasted no time in joining an evening walking tour of the city with a very entertaining guide. He managed the tricky task of showing us his hometown, presenting a crash course in the history of communismn in Albania and still keeping it fun. Tip-based tours like this are usually a great way to meet other solo travellers as most of the hostels promote them.

I hadn’t appreciated the level of communism in Albania, which did not end until 1992. According to our guide, Albania thought North Korea was ‘not communist enough’. He urged us to imagine suddenly being exposed to banks, bananas and other aspects of life we consider essential – his grandfather would ask for a ‘red banana’ when what he meant was a Coca-Cola.

The expanse of Skanderbeg Square, named after national hero Gjergj Kastrioti Skënderbeu who led the rebellion against the Ottoman empire, appears in stark contrast to the communist-era blocks of flats dotted around.

I’m including a lot of photos of Tirana because of the sheer variety of buildings I saw – including religious ones, in a country that has a population of 80% Muslim on paper and also claims Mother Teresa as their own. Though apparently so does North Macedonia.

A stark reminder of previous times is a piece of the Berlin wall on display next to the entrance of yet another city bunker.

On that note, Tirana has maybe the most unique museum I’ve ever been to – “Bunk Art 1” (a smaller “Bunk Art 2” can be found in the city centre but it’s worth the half hour bus ride out to the original – just ask around for the bus stop and the driver will tell you when to get off).

Mother Teresa

Note that this is by no means an art gallery – rather it is a huge underground maze including 106 rooms and an auditorium. There are communication rooms where you can pick up a telephone and listen to the voice of Hoxha himself, fully furnished bedrooms and bathrooms. Fairly creepy when you seem to be the only visitor! This was all built in preparation for a war that never happened and as such was never used, rather they were abandoned in 1992 with the fall of communism.

The decontamination room reminded me of Lost – turn the sound on

A helpful sign states that you are encouraged to remain calm and stay where you are in case of a powercut – it seemed very unlikely anybody would remain calm if you happened to be in one of the rooms with the life-sized gasmask wearing pretend soldiers and fake snow on the ground.

Entrance to Bunk Art 1
Tunnel leading to the bunker complex
Enver Hoxha’s living quarters
Original electronic equipment
Auditorium inside the bunker

There is an enormous amount of information in this place, room upon room of photographs and letters, from relations with Italy, to the start of communism, the rescue of an American medical flight through to UK involvement. It was far too much to me to take in – once more I was reminded how little I know about this part of European history.

Original ‘Communist propoganda’ on display in the bunkers

Back up on ground level, Tirana is an opportunity to eat at vegetarian restaurants again, even a mocha with soy milk is available. I wandered around at night taking in the atmosphere but too tired to join a hostel bar crawl.

Tirana at night

Next stop on the backpacker trail in Albania is Berat. Taking yet another bus here was an experience in itself – there are two ‘bus stations’ in Tirana, one serving routes north and south and one serving east and west – it’s important to get the right one. I use inverted commas because ‘bus station’ is a stretch – bus stations in Albania are really carparks filled with buses of varying states of decay. As soon as you arrive, a group of men will shout various city names at you. This is not a scam, it’s how you find your bus as English is not widely spoken and there is no ticket office. I hopped on just as the Berat bus was departing – the lack of following schedules actually means you’re less likely to miss your bus as the driver tries to wait until all seats are filled.

The UNESCO Heritage Site of Berat, often referred to as the city of 1000 windows, dates back to the 4th century. Berat could be visited in a day trip from Tirana but it’s lovely at night when the streets are full of people drinking coffee and eating dessert, and old men playing chess occupy the benches. Apparently if you want to find anyone in Berat, just come to the main street after dusk.

Old streets leading to hostel
Evening in Berat

Berat’s main attraction is the fortress on top of the hill, which has a functional town inside of it with houses, shops and restaurants. The walk up is steep in the 35 degree Celsius August heat (even the first bit of rain I’ve seen in 3 weeks didn’t cool the temperature down) but the views are worth it.

View from the fort over the Gorica area

I went in the slightly odd National Ethnographic Museum of Berat which is basically a house where I had no real clue what I was looking at, but mostly enjoying wandering along the river in the afternoon and stopping for coffee or food.

Figs picked from the garden

I stayed at the Berat Backpackers, a choice made mostly due to the Lonely Planet write up and it’s beautiful setting inside the Gorica area (across the bridge and south of the river Osumi) with a large garden to enjoy breakfast and a beer from the well stocked fridge.

Berat Backpackers

The atmosphere didn’t quite live up to the reviews possibly because of change in ownership – this was a rare time where I was grateful when some other Brits turned up and quite literally brought the party in the form of three 18 year olds – India, Millie (from Budleigh Salterton – she agreed that naturist beach is definitely dodgy) and Millie’s boyfriend, who made me laugh like only 18 year olds can, and Tom who brought a plastic water bottle full of the local liquor ‘rakia’, otherwise known as pure fire, made by an old woman who ripped him off on the street. With a lack of other backpackers able or willing to speak English, a quiet Friday night quickly turned into Brits on Tour as we found the one place that had a pool table. I was slightly concerned we were now in Albania mafia territory and it was unclear how much/ what it was going to cost, but Tom assured me the locals who were by now clearly waiting for us to leave, were ‘just the lads’.

Let’s just say we were not popular in the hostel the next morning (I blame the Czechs who certainly knew how to carry the party on) but luckily I was moving south for some beach time.

What happens in Albania stays in Albania

With only a week here, I wanted to see the Albanian Riviera and chose the town of Vlorë predominantly because of the direct bus route. First hurdle – no taxis so the hostel owner’s financé drove me to the bus station / parking lot. Second hurdle – despite what the timetable said there were no buses running in that direction today, and no explanation as to why not. Having already booked the next few nights accommodation and on a schedule for once, I had no choice but to pay the fiancé to drive me the hour and a half all the way to the coast. I spotted some other tourists also trying to get to Vlorë and suggested we share the ride but they weren’t interested, expressing horror at the price. What cheapskates, I thought as I agreed to pay the 7000 lek myself (around €55). It was only when we were on the way that I realised I had done my old trick of confusing the currency and quoted them 70,000 lek, over five HUNDRED euros. No wonder they weren’t keen.

When we eventually got to Vlore, after stopping to help two German girls change a flat tyre, we couldn’t find my accommodation despite my lovely driver making several phone calls and looking so hard at Google maps that he backed into a parked car (which he totally ignored). If he was regretting taking me to the bus station he didn’t show it, refusing to accept even take a tiny tip.

Vlorë beach front

My accommodation in Vlorë was the ‘Berti Apartments’, run by the sweetest old couple who did not speak a word of English other than ‘breakfast?’ – the old woman woke me up at 7am by knocking on my window to bring breakfast on a cute little tray to the table outside my room. It was only missing the coffee – with no instructions I couldn’t light the gas to make my own nor communicate this to my hosts. Cue comedic gesturing until the old man called a younger man for me to explain over the phone, who then came around two minutes later so we could all go to my room to teach me that the gas has to be turned on from the mains in order to work.

Vlorë is a beach holiday destination – lovely sandy beach and the warmest sea at the price of a €4 sunbed for the day. Wide palmtree lined streets full of cafes and restaurants turn into thumping clubs in the evening when the promenades are full of people, mostly holidaymakers from the surrounding countries. Still not quite the secluded coves for early morning swims I was looking for but beautiful none the less and with the bonus of very friendly people; as much I as liked Montenegro it is hard not to notice that people don’t really smile.

All too quickly my week in Albania came to an end as I had booked some accommodation back in the south of Montenegro, just across the border from the city of Shkodër, so I headed there for the night. There isn’t much to do there unless you’re going further north to hike in the Albanian Alps or spend time on the lake, neither of which I had time for but I did enjoy the photographic museum which I had all to myself. It contains some stunning old photographs of Albanian life, particularly the random ones of people laughing and joking with no information to explain the who / what / when.

I wasn’t that surprised when once more the bus did not materialise, despite a) my having double checked in advance with two different hostels that it existed and b) this bus was my sole reason for going to Shkodër in the first place as was less than hour away from my final destination. The journey is part of the experience as they say so I had to go almost full circle in the opposite direction, back through my favourite city Podgerica, for a final five nights in Montenegro before heading north to Serbia…

Buses, Borders and World War One (Bosnia and Herzegovina)

When you’re standing on the very spot that started World War One you know this will need a longer and more serious blog post than usual. Welcome to country number three on my Balkans Tour – Bosnia and Herzegovina.

Bosnia and Herzegovina

Let’s start with the journey. I boarded a supposedly six hour bus in Budva, Montenegro with destination Mostar. I was enjoying the view along the Adriatic coast from my window seat when I overheard somebody ask the driver about a toilet stop, to which he replied ‘toilets in Dubrovnik’. That would be Dubrovnik, Croatia – obviously I should have read the timetable more carefully. This bus was taking the indirect route with not one but four border crossings to contend with – Montenegro -> Croatia -> Bosnia -> Croatia-> Bosnia due to the division of land in this area.

Buna River, Herzegovina

We hit a complete standstill at the first Croatian checkpoint until our driver had enough and floored it for what felt like a good few miles on the wrong side of the road, to audible gasps from the passengers. It turned out he hadn’t lost his mind – the ticket collector had run ahead and was now standing in the middle of the road stopping the traffic until we cut everyone else up and forced our way back in at the front of the queue.

The Montenegro / Croatia land border is an EU entry point and the reason for the delay was the border police on steroids who were ripping through every single item of every single person’s luggage, including everyone on our bus as we were ordered off. I could see my heart pounding as an officer with a gun pulled out more and more packs of my antihistamine tablets, suspicious as to why I had so many (even I wasn’t sure anymore, probably the Boots 3 for 2 offers) and clearly baffled as to how anyone could be that allergic to anything. At this point I’m regretting a) answering NO when asked ‘do you have any medication?’ as evidently I am carrying a small pharmacy, and b) emptying two months worth of multi vitamins into a plastic bag shoved into a shoe to save on space. I’m also remembering a taxi driver telling me that the Croatian police like to issue fines for any medication manufacturered outside of Croatia. We did actually have a laugh when he couldn’t do my bag back up again – for some reason I told him he needs to get better at packing. He agreed he needed more training in that department and wished me a safe trip.

Mostar by night

Back on the bus and wishing I could flush half my bag down the toilet before the next border check, the silver lining was getting to see the sunset over that unexpected detour to Dubrovnik as I realised that six hours was long gone. By the time I arrived in Mostar it was 11pm and with no taxis in sight I had to walk to my hostel, Taso’s Place, which actually felt an awful lot safer than London with plenty of people still out and about.

Bullet holes remain in many buildings throughout Mostar

The next morning, off on a day trip that Taso organised for me with a few others, I was amazed by how beautiful Herzegovina is. All blue rivers and green fig trees and purple grape vines. The trip started with my second breakfast of the day featuring fried Uštipci dough balls, grilled vegetables and very good coffee while getting to know the others. Our guide had an incredible knowledge of UK politics and it seems most of the world. Whilst my education in Herzegovina was sorely lacking, mostly limited to their entries in the Eurovision Song Contest.

Fried bread
Mostar’s damaged buildings, not safe for entry

Mostar as a city has an incredibly complex history interwoven with the Ottoman and Austro-Hungarian empires. Bosnia and Herzegovina as a country has sadly become synonymous with a warzone. Here I will simply give some of the information that I managed to take in from speaking to local guides, fact checked on Wikipedia as best I can do with limited Internet access!

I always try to take the free (tip based) walking tours in the major cities that I visit as this gives you the opportunity to ask any questions you like – nothing was off limits. Highly recommended is Shiva’s guided tour of Mostar, which lasts as long as it lasts. You also get his business card which apparently acts as a ‘get out of jail free’ card.

The Old Bridge, reconstructed in 2004. Diver casually sitting up top.

Mostar is named after it’s Ottoman centre piece, the Stari Most bridge (Old Bridge) rising over the river Neretva. Originally built in the 16th century, it’s destruction in 1993 has become symbolic of the war in Mostar and the division of community that followed.

At the end of a day sightseeing around the area, our guide bought us coffees and we sat in the sunshine for a whiteboard history lesson.

After independence from Yugoslavia in 1992, Mostar was under siege for 3 years during the Bosnian War which killed over 100,000 people across the country and resulted in the genocide of over 8000 Bosnian Muslims in Srebrenica. The people I spoke to were clear that rather than a ‘civil war’, this was ethnic cleansing.

It’s important to note that the 1991 census records a population made up of 29% Croats, 34% Muslims, 19% Serbs and the remaining 18% Yugoslavs / other. At that point in time around a third of all marriages in Mostar were mixed, with the different ethnic and religious communities spread evenly throughout the city. This means that when forced to fight, you would likely be taking sides against your spouse’s family or your neighbours and friends.

Eerily almost every tombstone in this Mostar graveyard was dated 1993
Sniper tower in Mostar where the instruction was ‘shoot anything that moves’

The 90s are not that long ago – most people here have direct experience of the war. My first tour guide’s father was sent to a concentration camp and the second believes life today is generally worse than under Tito’s Yugoslavia with low wages and high unemployment. The division can still be seen today – East Mostar is known as the Muslim side with Catholic Croats on the West. There are separate schools (one mixed school now exists but has separate lessons), two fire brigades, two bus stations, two football teams… There are even three Presidents who rotate as Chairperson every eight months: one Bosniak, one Serb, and one Croat, making for an administrative nightmare.

Diving platform

On a lighter note the local heroes are the Mostonian bridge divers, who continue the tradition of diving into the river as a right of passage. I was passing by as local guys were drumming up tips and teasing the gathering crowd for a quite a while before jumping so gracefully it appeared like slow motion: see video below.

1981 is graffitied all over Mostar – the birth of the Red Army football team!
Mostar diving club where you can register for a try out on a smaller platform if you so wish.

I also learned where the term ‘whirl like a Dervish’ actually comes from at the 1520 era monastery where the Sufi Muslims practice rituals that involve whirling. It felt very calming with the rooms being built right into the mountain and directly on the water. As the sign on the wall said ‘we are all made from water’. Visiting inside meant covering heads and bodies – one of our group did mistake me for a Muslim woman.

Kravice waterfalls – no day trip is complete without a waterfall swim.

There was also an opportunity to sample the most delicious figs I’ve ever tasted and climb free reign over the castle in Počitelj. The lovely woman selling her fruit knows full well that she only needs to convince one person to taste it and the whole group will soon be buying the fresh pomegranate juice mixed with lemon and sugar.

Drug dealer in Počitelj
Top of the castle

Sarajevo was my next stop, only a two hour train ride through the mountains. I was not expecting such a visible Turkish influence, a throwback to the Ottoman era ofcourse. It’s also home to the place where the Arch Duke of Austria, Franz Ferdinand (not just a band name) was assassinated, widely considered the trigger for the first World War – a fact I was unaware of. This is an example of why I feel travelling is so important rather than relying on barely listened to school history lessons about Henry 8th’s wives. At least in my case anyway.

Mostar train station

At night the old town of Sarajevo is buzzing with people, mostly sipping Bosnian coffee (which has to be savoured not rushed, and if you take it with sugar you’re supposed to put the sugar cube on your tongue then drink the coffee) and eating baklava or other similar sweet desserts. It’s a really nice place to spend an evening people watching if you can find a free seat.

Bosnian coffee
Sarajevo old town

The city today prides itself today on the meeting of different cultures and religions, having a mosque, Catholic church, Orthodox church and synagogue all within the same neighborhood. It is also home to the second largest Jewish cemetery in Europe, partly due to the large number of Jewish refugees from Spain who settled here.

Sarajevo East meets West
Opportunity to meet the Pope
One of the Sarajevo roses

A stark reminder of the war are the Sarajevo Roses that can found scattered around the city. These are concrete scars from mortar explosions, coloured in red to mark spots where at least 3 people were killed.

The start of WW1

When you want to escape the city, a cable car takes you up to the Trebević mountain for scenic views and the slightly creepy abandoned Bobsleigh track built for the 1984 Olympics. Tourists have yet to return to this country in their pre-covid levels, meaning I had a cable car to myself.

Abandoned bobsleigh track

One of the city’s water fountains – rumour has it if you drink from here you will fall in love and return

I only spent 4 days in Bosnia and Herzegovina, added to my route as an afterthought on the recommendation of other travellers, and barely scratched the surface of the history, culture and landscapes – but the incredibly friendly people in the small number of places I did visit have taught me more than I can possibly write in this short space of time and words. Put this country on your bucket list and see for yourself!

From Ruins to Riches (Montenegro Part 2)

After one week in the luxury of the Mahakala Yoga Retreat I was itching to get moving, starting with the UNESCO World Heritage site of Kotor just an hour up the coast with it’s medieval old town and views over the bay.

My current style of travel is to book private rooms in hostels, giving me my own space but keeping the backpacker vibe. I was astounded when the Old Town Hostel staff led me out of the building and around a few corners to the ‘Palazzo Drusko’, who it turns out they have an agreement with if they are full. And what an upgrade! The attic level ‘Artists Room’ of the 600 year old stone house formerly owned by Montenegrin nobility, may just be the creepiest and yet best room I have ever stayed in, with Balkan music playing from an old radio and 150 year old furniture and antiques / paintings / crochets adorning the walls. See video below – turn the sound on! Although I was relieved to be able to turn it off at bedtime.

My palace room was located right in the middle of the Old Town, a maze of cobbled streets and churches and squares – the same churches I would end up passing multiple times as I wandered around in circles all evening.

Spot the cat

Waiting to greet me on every corner were the Cats of Kotor who have been here for over a hundred years. They even have their own museum. I stumbled upon a shop selling cat themed souvenirs and was delighted to find out this was THE shop run by the famous Cat Lady of Kotor who cares for many of them.

I really liked the atmosphere in Kotor. It may be a little touristy in the old town but it didn’t cross the line into tacky and never got too busy to enjoy.

One of the recommended activities is to climb up to the ruins of the 9th century Fortress built into the Lovcen Mountains. A few people had told me to avoid the 1350 steps up by taking an alternative route that bypasses the €8 entry fee and involves climbing through a window.

The fortress looks like a long way up…

I have no problem paying the entrance fee, I am a visiting tourist after all, but couldn’t resist the climbing through a window bit. The path starts to the right of the Resto Bar Taraca restaurant (great for veggie food and a favourite of everyone I met!) and it’s best to go as early as possible, I was on the way up by 7am to beat the heat.

Up the ladder and through the window
View from the other side

It’s about a 30 minute walk uphill before you pass a derelict looking church (circa 1518) where some helpful red arrows painted on the rocks confirm the way. The most fun part was climbing up the ladder and through the famous window, which is confusingly accompanied by both a ‘no trespassing’ sign and a helpful red dot. Once you’re through, you can climb all over the fortress to your heart’s content – health and safety isn’t an issue here.

Mind the Gap

I was puzzled by the face masks tied to the bridge and still haven’t found out why they are there. A bonus of being up there early is you get to feel smug as the hoards of people start to arrive huffing and puffing their way up the stairs while you stroll down having just got the best photos as the sunlight hits the bay.

The tiny town of Perast is also worth a visit, reachable by either a bus or my choice, the boat trip for €15 which also stops at the even tinier man made island of Our Lady of the Rocks with it’s interesting origin. Legend has it that a fisherman shipwrecked nearby found an image of the Madonna and Christ on a rock in 1452, prompting the building of the church from stones transported from Perast and pieces of sunken ships. The custom of throwing stones into the sea in order to maintain the island remains as the Fasinada festival every 22nd of July.

Our Lady of the Rocks

The centre piece of the museum on the island is the small tapestry which is partly comprised of actual woven hair. The woman who crafted it apparently spent 25 years working away whilst her husband was at sea, eventually going blind and using her own hair in some parts – I wasn’t actually able to tell the difference but maybe it’s visible from the photo below…

Where’s the Hair?
View from the church

Montenegro means Black Mountain so it’s necessary to see some mountains. To the north is the Durmitor National Park and the Black Lake. This would be best visited by car with an overnight stop but without my own wheels I took a lonnngggg day trip (11 hours!). But two hours of driving actually flies by when the scenery looks like this and you have fellow backpackers to chat to.

First stop was the Tara bridge with a very sedate zipline in my opinion. €20 for 50 seconds of flying seemed like quite a lot but as our guide pointed out it’s actually 56 seconds and that extra 6 makes all the difference! Naturally I had to do it along with Caroline from Ireland. We bought the photos that I did not know were being taken and as she put it ‘you had your game face on’ – clearly I was not happy she had overtaken me during those crucial six seconds.

The race is on

A sad sight was the wild fires that are raging all over this part of Europe at the moment. As it got dark we could see the orange flames in the distance and more scarily cars ahead were stopping to put out flames by the roadside with buckets of mud. Even sadder to learn that some of these fires are being started deliberately according to drone footage, with the perpetrators not even kids but in their 30s and 40s.

Local liquor for sale amongst the smoke

The smoke cleared by the time we reached the Black Lake, which is beautifully clear up close and perfect for swimming.

Accidental Insta pose

Last but not least was the Ostrog Monastery, built almost vertically into the mountain. This does not deter the pilgrims who walk the 3km up barefoot. Due to a quick toilet stop I missed the first part of our guide’s introductions, but got the gist that it is very important you DO NOT LAUGH when entering the cave chamber where the body of Vasilije, a Bishop of Herzegovina, lies in rest. Also you may kiss the priest’s hand if you wish to do so (no offence caused if not). Obviously this made me laugh to the point where our guide refused to catch my eye for the entire visit.

Ostrog Monastery

It was only when I got into the cave and saw a large, living priest standing next to the coffin with his hand outstretched I realised it’s HIS hand you should kiss, not the presumably mummified one. I forgot the rest of the protocol in a panic and turned on my heel to leave without kissing anyone. Our guide confessed afterwards he had made that mistake when he was a teenager and he still can’t face going back into that cave.

Mosaics in the monastery

Kissing priests aside, Montenegro seems to be a hub for solo female travellers. After swapping travel stories over dinner I had been convinced to add as many countries to my itinerary as possible within the next 7 weeks.

My perfect breakfast – fried bread
View over Bay of Kotor

My final stop in Montenegro was Budva. Various people had told me it’s a big city and lacks the charm of Kotor but I had to see for myself. Needless to say they were right. I soon cancelled my third night when I experienced the heaving crowds in the old town, back to back sunbeds on the overcrowded beaches and Russian women dressed to the nines on their way to the thumping night clubs. All this amidst the stifling heat of near 40 degrees centigrade. Maybe if you’re on the beach with the €150 entry fee (to be fair it includes champagne!) or the owner of one of the super yachts you might enjoy it more. Budva is definitely where the money is.

Cheapskates

Instead of the bars with rumoured £1k rounds of drinks, us cheap backpackers grabbed some two euro bottles of wine from the supermarket and a few miniature bottles of Rakia, the local liquor. Made from various fruit, it looks and smells a lot better than it tastes at 40%, especially when drinking it from an expresso cup.

Budva by night

Budva at least gave me the time to plan the next part of my trip and I found myself booking a bus ticket to that well known holiday hotspot, Bosnia and Herzegovina…

Namaste Naked Hippies – Finding Myself in Montenegro

My friends and I are deep in conversation on a pebbly beach in a beautiful, secluded cove. Nothing particularly unusual about that given that we are in Montenegro, except we each met just a few days ago, we are all stark naked and a man has just informed Keith, the only male in our group, that he ‘likes big sausage’. “Good Lord Sweet Jesus” is American Keith’s response as he declines to go around the corner into the cave. Today the aging wrinklies from Devon have been replaced with beer drinking, young, buff and bronzed Montenegrin men and the women in our group are in hysterics in a ‘now you know how we feel’ manner as we realise they were not in fact checking us out. It seems I’ve found the Hampstead Heath of Buljarica.

Torquoise waters

To give some context on the above experience, I’ve signed up for a week at the Mahakala Yoga Retreat near Petrovac where getting naked seems to be the name of the game (disclaimer; this is probably not actually part of the official program). The relief of being with others again after the last year or so of lockdown restrictions is immediate – in the stunning villa that fifteen of us are calling home for the next seven nights, there are no masks, no social distancing and hugs are very welcome 🙏.

Nothing goes unseen

I may have raved about the water in the UK but this is on another level. My water shoes have come in very handy with the stony beaches particularly when exiting the ocean – the only problem with the naked swimming is how to get out of the water gracefully, i.e. without crawling over the rocks Gollum style.

Dinner time

Mahakala includes daily yoga, some kind of workshop, no alcohol, two meals a day and a ‘digital detox’ which I had hoped would mean a leaving with a flat stomach and calm serenity. What it actually means is binge eating twice your body weight at said mealtimes, daily naps as you can’t move after stuffing your face and never being able to Google something when you actually need to. It would probably be better to visit not in the August heatwave as it is shall we say challenging to exercise in almost 40 degrees Celsius.

Journalling session

This retreat is an opportunity to try different styles of yoga, such as a ‘Yoga meets dance’ class which I knew from the off would be slightly weird, as are most of the afternoon workshops (but in a good way!). “And now slap someone else in the room!” shouts Guilia, our teacher, as we all leap around the room bitch slapping each other and shrieking with laughter. There is no point in going into these things half heartedly – if you sign up for seven days in this type of place you might as well go all in. That includes writhing around like an animal on your mat (one person actually moo’ed like a cow).

The food when it is provided is incredible, both in taste and presentation. At 09.30 and 17.00 the bell rings and we all line up to learn about the ingredients and nutritional content before loading our plates like this is the last supper.

Figs are free, just pick them from the tree
Night time swim, clothing optional
Our Yoga Shala, where the magic happens
Enjoying the downtime

The yoga session I enjoyed the most was a sunrise practice (a few degrees cooler!) down at the specially constructed platform on the beach, followed by an early morning swim. I had already gone into the water in an effort to avoid the wasps when I noticed the rest of the group making their way in minus their swimsuits, every single one of them (did I mention the water is crystal clear?). In for a penny in for a pound as they say – I had to agree it was a very freeing experience to share together.

Sunrise yoga
Sunrise swim

The schedule includes down time, which is filled by lazing in hammocks, using the roof top Jacuzzi (if the natural filtration system doesn’t send you running for a UTI test), outdoor baths filled with flowers (best bath of my life!) or onsite massages, which were amazing although none of us were ever quite sure if the large, middle aged Montenegrin massuese was the same man as the one who picked us up from the airport, or the one who drove us to the beach, or if they were in fact three different people.

Rooftop hottub
Bath with a mountain view

After almost a week of sneakily enjoying contraband coffee in my room, a few of us cracked on the final day when we left the sanctum of the villa for the beach and someone (naming no names) bought beer and chips – neither of which has ever tasted so good. It almost took away the sting of the €25 cost of using the sun loungers.

The class of August 2021

On the final night there was an emotional closing ceremony with quite a few tears shed as the group came together to sing and play instruments along to some haunting tunes around the fire. It’s a testament to our three instructors Guilia, David and Klaude that relative strangers felt comfortable sharing sometimes deeply personal experiences safe in the knowledge there would be no judgement. Asking us to end our sentence with “Aho!” which would be echoed by the group was challenging as I really struggled not to respond with “knowing me knowing you, Aha!” Alan Partridge style instead.

Our leaders

For me, I came here believing I needed time alone, when perhaps actually I needed to connect with like minded people. And despite some of the more ‘out there’ elements of the week (still not a fan of three minutes ‘eye gazing’) that was certainly achieved 🙏.

Great British Holiday Part Three – Mr Crowley, Johnny Cash and Britain’s Biggest Loser (Scotland)

I expected rain, midges and to be beaten up in Glasgow city centre. Instead I got sunshine, no insects in sight and incredibly friendly people who ask for my ‘wee name’. Plus some of the most stunning scenery I’ve seen on this island. I’ve even come around to the Scottish accent and have a new favourite singer, Gary Cinnamon, after hearing a few of his tunes performed by the Young Scottish Singer of the Year busking by Loch Lomond. Many a true word in lyrics like ‘it could be a canter, if you’re just a wee bit less of a wanker‘.

Top or bottom?

Arriving in Glasgow, in an effort to economise I booked into the Euro Hostel – at £25 a night it’s bunk bed style but I’ve got the room to myself and even an “ensuite”. It’s clean,the staff are welcoming and nobody tried to get into my room at midnight like they were about to do in Edinburgh…

View from Glasgow’s necropolis

I walked around for several hours trying not to look at anyone the wrong way given Glasgow’s reputation on a Friday night, but only saw a few fights in the street (mostly between women I would not want to get on the wrong side of). Another surprise was the abundance of amazing vegan food such as the extremely popular Glasvegan and in particular the Scottish breakfasts – I will be leaving a stone heavier.

Veggie breakfast Scottish style
I especially liked the traffic cone part of this statue

Despite liking the feel of Glasgow, one day in the city proved enough so I took the train to Balloch, gateway to Loch Lomond. I was actually a bit underwhelmed by the Loch and the touristy nature (Sea World anyone?!) of this area but am aware I didn’t venture past the visitors centre.

Beautiful Inverness centre

Budget mode in full swing, I took a surprisingly comfortable bus ride up to the start of the Highlands where the bus driver said I could sit anywhere as long as it wasn’t on anyone’s lap. Set on the banks of the River Ness, I knew immediately I would love Inverness.

River Ness

On a recommendation from the waitress at the old movie themed Rendezvous cafe, playing Led Zeppelin and serving huge portions of toasted sandwiches and the best coffee so far, I dropped off my bag and went straight out to explore the ‘islands’. This is a beautiful woodland walk along the fast flowing river with several white bridges connecting the inlets. Some mansions were hiding behind the trees, one of which was apparently almost home to Johnny Depp.

Still being woken at 5am by my friends

I love a good day trip so booked onto a ‘Rabbies’ tour to Loch Ness. I cannot recommend this highly enough if you are travelling without a car, plus you get an entertaining guide for an educational experience. Our guide Paul was particularly interesting, especially when he casually asked me ‘what would you say if I told you I’m Britain’s second bigger weight loss star? I’m famous,you can Google me!’… I did – he didn’t mention that he actually hit the tabloids with the headline ’50 stone man fears he may crush wife during sex’.

Scenic stop enroute to Loch Ness

The best thing I’ve learned so far on this trip has to be who Mr Crowley, star of my favourite Ozzy Osborne song, actually was. We drove past Alastair Crowley, black magic extraordinaire’s house, which was owned for several years by Jimmy Page and regularly frequented by Ozzy and the Black Sabbath guys. The link between the occult and heavy metal music is an interesting one as according to tour guide Paul, some spells require a visual representation to be performed, perfectly suited to a rock concert. Apparently if you come here at night you’ll find ‘all sorts’ in the graveyard.

Mr Crowley’s playground

The Highlands of Scotland are really stunning – the kind of scenery I was waiting for. I even managed to pose in the road for a photo reminiscent of Route 66 although the know-it-all on the tour with the fancy camera insisted on taking the picture at such a strange angle I prefer my own snap above. Turn on the sound for the full Scottish experience on the video below…

Loch Ness itself blew Loch Lomond out of the water for me. Unfortunately I didn’t have my bikini and this is no Budleigh Salterton so I had to make do with paddling my feet in the water, which was crystal clear on the banks but a mysterious black further in due to the composition of the rocks.

An added benefit of taking a tour is that Tabloid Paul booked us onto an otherwise sold out boat trip and got us there early enough to be first in line to pick the best seats. Tales of Nessie sightings fresh in our minds (Paul said anything he tells us falls into two categories, either a) he truly believes it or b) he truly believes that other people truly believe it), it was a gorgeous cruise around the Loch.

Next stop on my Scottish tour had to be Edinburgh and a stay in a converted jail cell at the POD hostel. I enjoyed the concept of the number pad entry instead of a key until I was woken by some drunkards randomly trying to get in. Hostel life seems almost back to pre-covid levels other than hand sanitisers everywhere – what a novelty to sit in a communal kitchen!

Edinburgh old town

Edinburgh is essentially a collection of extremely tall buildings, we’re talking 16 stories high. In the old days people would tip their toilet waste out of the top windows and pity the fools who didn’t hear the warning cry to move out of the way. Construction continued up around the bridges, resulting in a maze of cobbled stairways and turnings on Google maps that don’t actually exist unless you want to step off a 20 foot ledge. Cue half hour of very confused walking around in circles, wondering why the expected 5 minute journey from train station to hostel was not going anywhere.

No idea

A still unfulfilled item on my Scotland list was Castles so I booked a second Rabbie’s ‘Outlanders Adventure’ tour which is intended for fans of the Outlander TV show – a show that I admitted to never having heard of to cries of ‘sacrilege!’ from the back of the bus. No problem said the regular sized, kilt wearing and pretty good looking tour guide – ‘we are here to see castles although some of it might go over your head’.

Apparently this is important in Outlander
Blackness Bay, Linlithgow

I soon made friends with my fellow passengers when the first stop required us to buy tickets on our phones. Given the average age of the group and their inability to even connect to wifi, I realised they had no chance of making a purchase so I indebted myself to the guide and bought tickets for everyone, making a quid in unreturned change.

I wasn’t expecting the Mediterranean style ancient villages in this part of Scotland. The highlight was chatting to Bob Beverage in Falkland, Fife, a local celebrity in his own right due to his friendship with the great Johnny Cash who had a connection with the tiny village and even played in the square. It looks like a simple violin shop but it’s crammed with antique items and if you ask nicely Bob will bring out the guitar signed by Cash’s daughter.

It was a lovely day with the icing on the cake being meeting Sheila, who appeared a young looking 60 something until she mentioned her 50 something year old son. Sheila and I were the only people to walk up every hill and we shared dinner and a bottle of wine after bonding over the annoyance of dining out solo and always being stuck in the ‘naughty corner’ by waiting staff holding out for bigger groups. It’s always inspiring to meet older women on their travels and proves friendship has no age limit.

Solo beer
Edinburgh’s alleys

As usual a couple of days sightseeing was too much for me but luckily Edinburgh has an extinct volcano in the form of Arthur’s Seat overlooking the city and an easy hour’s climb.

Arthur’s Seat
View from the top

And that’s it for my UK Tour… it’s been an eye opening experience and a lesson in appreciating what’s on your doorstep on the world travelling scale! Scotland is firmly on the list of places to return to, especially to explore more of the Highlands and get out to the more remote islands. For now I have finally booked a one way ticket out of here – next stop Montenegro.