Category: Travel

I arrived at Pier 1 in Cebu City a sweaty mess after walking around in circles for half an hour with a dodgy ankle in 100F heat. I didn’t take a taxi as it was supposed to be just 5 minutes walk in a straight line. For people with a moderate sense of direction maybe. Why are the Pier buildings visible from all directions but only actually accessible from one side?!

I wasn’t expecting the airport style security and baggage checkin desks or to have an assigned seat – Filipinos know how to do ferries in style! After a couple of hours I arrived on the island of Bohol, famous for two things – the world’s smallest primate and the Chocolate Hills. Both sounded intriguing.

With even more disorganisation than usual, I only booked my accommodation the night before and picked Alona Beach as I was ready for some sand. Almost as soon as I checked into my £7 a night Moon Falls hostel and stepped outside, I realised that this was mistake. I hated it. Like Benidorm in extreme heat, if beach security carried rifles and pistols. And packed with people as it was Holy Week. As for the people, the girls on my snorkeling trip were wearing eyeliner which says it all. Although one of them, actually in my eyes the most beautiful, confided that she was ‘not a real girl’ so I’ll let her off the false lashes. On the walk to the beach I was bombarded with offers of island hopping trips and souvenirs 😬

Against my better judgement but after making friends with a lovely Filipina girl from Manila when we shared a table in the next door vegan cafe Shaka (which is amazing but pricey), I booked myself onto a snorkeling trip for tomorrow that she had really enjoyed. I had already read terrible one star reviews of these snorkeling trips yet for some reason I had a temporary memory lapse when I signed up to a 05.55 am start the next day 🤷🏻‍♀️

Lesson learned : Always heed the reviews!! Whilst I take many hotel reviews with a pinch of salt (‘there was no toilet paper in the bathroom but when I asked for some they were happy to provide it’ – was that even worth writing?!) a succession of negative comments on a tour IS worth taking note of.

I only wanted to snorkel so I didn’t pay much attention to the rest of the itinerary. Had I realised I’d spend two hours on a boat where the engine noise drowned out any notion of a peaceful morning, to chase a small pod of dolphins around with 50 other boats I would not have set foot onboard. All I could see was boatloads of Chinese tourists jumping up and down and squealing, selfie sticks everywhere. My group had a particularly annoying French guy who repeatedly asked the crew if he could get in and swim with the dolphins despite the fact they kept saying NO. I was very tempted to push him overboard and see how he fared amongst all of the boats. Sadly many of these tourists are the ones who sign up for the Oslob whale shark ‘tours’.

When we eventually reached the first island, I ended up in a ridiculous comedy argument with the guide… He said we could leave our bags on a table before we go to different site far away for snorkeling. I said I’d rather bring my bag with me. It contains my asthma inhaler, which I’m 99.99% not going to need but I’d like to have it in the near vicinity if we are going to a different site. The guide thinks I want to go snorkeling carrying my backpack because I think it will be stolen. Him: ‘don’t worry it’s safe here’. Me: ‘I know, I just need to bring my inhaler’. After about ten minutes of this, I show him the inhaler. Him: ‘don’t worry we’ll take you in a boat’. Me: ‘??!’. As he’s getting a canoe ready I realise he thinks I’m not fit enough to walk to the snorkel site and need to be specially transported. After I finally convince him that I can actually walk unaided, we set off on the THREE MINUTE walk across the island where everyone else is happily snorkeling away with turtles. After he hid my inhaler in a boat on the shore and gave me a life jacket because he clearly thinks I can’t swim either, we got in the water and I realised he’s not going to leave my side in case I have an asthma attack and die 🤦🏻‍♀️ To make it worse I couldn’t actually swim because the two sizes too big life jacket was floating up around my ears and my crappy mask was filling with water. I’m trying not to flip over whilst the concerned guide is diving down to tie the threadbare life jacket between my thighs to stop it riding up over my head, whilst trying to stay afloat himself, and he picks that moment to ask ‘are you married? Where’s your boyfriend?’ 🤦🏻‍♀️

After 15 mins chaperoning me around the water both the guide and me had enough. We walked the 3 mins back to where the rest of the group was sitting miserably under a canopy refusing offers of overpriced breakfast. We waited there for an hour while the annoying French guy (it had to be him obviously) to go for ‘a quick look’ at the corals before we were transported back to the mainland £10 lighter. We did stop a beautiful sand bank on the way back where I had a fried banana and a another chat with the vendor about where my husband is. I realise that I was still on a very nice island but always do your research!! 😂

I made the snap decision to forfeit the cost of my already paid for bed for the night and get a taxi straight out of there up to the town of Loboc. Sometimes you have to change your plans! Loboc sits on the river and according to the Lonely Planet is where eveyone bases themselves for the Chocolate Hills. I was expecting a backpacker hub. I got the only room left in the town which felt inexplicably empty…

As I looked over the fields from my odd little guesthouse where nobody spoke English I knew I had made the right decision. Even when I wandered around the tiny smoky ghost town (they burn leaves to keep the mosqitoes at bay) to find everything closed and didn’t see a single other traveller.

The next morning I had to move accommodation as everywhere was fully booked – where these mythical guests were hanging out I have no idea. But it was a good thing, as my new place, Stefanie Grace Paradise Inn was just beautiful. On the banks of the river, with steps leading down into the water and even a slide for the kids or braver adults, I had my own little room for about £10.

The lovely people there organised for next door neighbour Michael to take me on a private trip in his tricycle as there were no tour companies in town. I was all set to brave the jeepney but it was so worth it – instead of being herded around tourist spots in a big group I got to choose where I wanted to go, stop when I wanted and enjoy the lush green scenery whilst chatting to Michael.

We passed through the ‘manmade forest’ of Mahogany trees which I didn’t really understand, but his father apparently helped to plant. The seat in the tricycle was made from one of those trees but now it’s prohibited to cut them down. I was actually sitting on a travel neck cushion which Michael keeps for his passengers, asking ‘would you like that for your ass?’ 😂

I made sure we went to the Philippine Tarsier Sanctuary in Corella to see the world’s smallest primate – not the ‘conservation area’ where most of the day trips take you. Michael agreed that this is the right way to see these tiny animals.

At the centre a guide took three of us to see a few of these tiny, tiny creatures with their huge eyes (which are bigger than their brain), only the size of my hand. They are probably the cutest things I’ve ever seen and I wanted to pick them up and never let go.

Here is a cute video :

Sadly they are endangered and if stressed, they commit suicide by holding their breath. Solitary and nocturnal, they need peace and quiet during the day. You’re reminded to whisper and not get too close.

Next stop, the second most famous attraction in Bohol, the bizzare Chocolate Hills.

Unfortunately no chocolate in sight, but after climbing some steps to the viewpoint (they told me it was a steep hike, really far – it’s really not!) I could see hundreds of identical, perfectly dome shaped chocolate brown mounds in all directions. Parched from the heat they became a national landmark.

There are no trees on top. Actually there are about 2,000 of these hills, which started off underwater and gradually formed over the years. These are another thing I didn’t really understand – why are they only found on this tiny island?!

If I had more time I could have stayed longer in Loboc simply to lounge by the river and admire the views and the wonderfully dated common area with it’s green decor and family photos. Or laze in a hammock at the guesthouse by day and be seranaded by the aging long haired manager and his guitar in the evening. I was enjoying the Beatles renditions, resident dog and free San Miguel and didn’t even mind the ‘are you married’ chat until he asked if I had a spare passport photo he could keep in his wallet to remember me – at which point I made a swift exit for an early night 😂

The science behind the Chocolate Hills

But a couple of days is sufficient to see the main sites. Itching to get to the real beaches, I took another lovely ferry further south to the mystical island of Siquijor, known to the locals for it’s mountain top black magic healers…

Top of my bucket list for years has been to swim with the mighty Whale Sharks. I have tried in The Honduras and Belize and it’s always been the wrong time of year or bad weather conditions. This time around, with April being peak season for whale sharks to migrate to Donsol, Luzon I had a good feeling about my chances.

Donsol was a small fishing village until word of these giant visitors got out, placing it on the tourist map. I could have taken a 14 hour bus from Manila and saved the £££ but I couldn’t face it straight off the 10.5 hour bus back from the rice terraces. Plus I had tripped down the bunk bed steps at my hostel in Manila and sprained my ankle 😬One minute I’m stepping down, next minute I’m flying across the dorm room head first into someone else’s bed, dropping my things everywhere and waking everyone up. To finish my ankle off, I tripped again on the same step immediately after 🤦🏻‍♀️

So I spent the money on the flight from Manila to Legazpi airport, which is right next to a perfectly cone shaped active volcano. I sat next to a beautiful 90 year old local woman wearing a denim mini dress who told me of her 12 children with a wry smile, admitting that one or two would have been enough but there was no birth control back then 😂 Atleast they are all still alive she said, and she knows most of her grandchildren’s names but understandably not their birthdays.

I stayed at the Agaluz Homestay in Donsol and the lovely Marion came to pick me up from the airport. Marion and family live in a nice house with one room for each of their grown up children who never actually come to stay so they decided to open it up to visitors instead. ‘Welcome home’ said Host Dad when I arrived. Also staying were two cute and very well behaved grandchildren. Rooms here are very basic but you get home cooked food and the personal touch.

The next morning I went straight to register at the Whale Shark (locally known as Butanding) Interaction Centre – a swollen ankle was not going to stop me even if I did have to hobble up the steps onto the boat. It’s very well organised – no prebooking required but you must register when the centre opens at 7.15 and pay a small fee plus boat and guides, in total about £10. They place you into groups (maximum 6 people) and ensure that you watch a video detailing the rules. Absolutely no touching and don’t get too close. Whale sharks are an endangered species with only 1000 identified world wide. Some whale shark facts – on average they are 5-10 metres long and weigh 20 tons. To put it in perspective they are the size of a bus.

There were 5 crew members on my boat – a spotter who I didn’t notice perched up top until later on, driver and general crew, and the Butanding Interaction Officer (BIO) who gets in the water with you.

I deliberately made the trip to Donsol instead of the more easily accessible Oslob (on the island of Cebu) as I did some research and listened to many warnings of how the whale sharks in Oslob are fed to attract them. I heard tales of the whale sharks having cuts on their heads from bumping the boats for food and it being a free for all with dozens of tourists in the water. I only wanted to see a whale shark if was possible without harming or disrupting them, and if this meant not seeing one at all then so be it.

Our boat set off and the BIO, probably in his 50s who chain smoked in between swimming, said they already had a sighting and to get ready. What this actually means is you have about 5 seconds to get your snorkel mask and fins on and sit on the edge of the moving boat, while he shouts ‘Faster! Faster!!’ then when he shouts ‘JUMP!!’ you all leap into the water and swim as fast as you can to catch him up. I wore a lifejacket thinking that if my ankle gave way then I wouldn’t drown but soon realised that being extra buoyant combined with holding a hired GoPro and only kicking with one leg really limits your speed. I was soon left behind after a fleeting glimpse of huge grey fin through slightly murky water.

Eveyone got back on the boat and as soon we sat down the guide shouted ‘GET READY!!!’ again. The next time I was just watching the fin go out of sight again when I was suddenly propelled forwards at a speed far greater than I can swim even using both my arms and legs. The little guide was pulling me by one arm – I have absolutely no idea how he did this (he didn’t even have flippers) but I have never moved so fast in the water in my life. All of sudden I looked down and I was swimming above the head of the biggest fish on earth. This one was about 7 metres long. The water had cleared completely and I could see every detail on it’s beautiful spotted blue / grey skin. Even the little fish attached to its sides and eating off of it. I cannot describe the feeling of entering the world of this gentle giant for a few moments, until it outswims you and you watch it’s long body pass by. These are not my own photos as I can’t access my memory stick until I get home but new friend Steve kindly provided them from his trip (credit to his friend Li) to give you an idea of what a Whale Shark looks like!

From then on, the guide, my new hero, took me under his wing. I ditched the life jacket and he took charge of my camera – now I could swim at a normal pace 😂 For the next 10 sightings or so, he and I would jump together and he would position me in the water. Suddenly a shark would be approaching, swimming directly towards me with it’s huge mouth half open (which can be up to 2 metres) lined with thousands of tiny teeth. They filter feed, meaning they swim with their mouth open to scoop up plankton (not humans!). I admit to feeling a tiny bit scared the first time, as everyone else onboard also confessed, and coming up for air just to see where the other people in the group were. I probably did get too close by accident a few times because if it decides to move closer to you there isn’t much you can do!

Thanks to the BIO, I had several moments where I was the only person around, swimming alone alongside one of these huge creatures who weren’t at all interested in my presence. It was an absolutely incredible experience.

That evening I went to see the fireflies on a river cruise, the only other thing there is to do in Donsol. My Host Dad took me and waited while I went in a tiny boat with some of the same people from this morning’s trip, run by his cousin. Everybody is related in Donsol. We had to watch another rather bizzare video, starring the same presenters as the whale sharks version, who were comparing the fireflies to Disney World.

The guide explained that tourists were complaining that there was nothing to do at night, so they started taking visitors out on these sunset cruises to see these insects that light up the trees along the river.

To be honest it was nice, and I’ve never actually seen a firefly before, but it can never match the morning activities. After viewing four trees filled with the tiny shining insects, the guide asked if we wanted to visit another tree and it was a unanimous ‘thank you we have seen enough’ all round 😂

Marion had also called somebody to come and look at my ankle – apparently here they do an ancient massage treatment. Bizarrely I was supposed to meet this person at the entrance to the firefly cruise, which I thought was a bit strange, but they didn’t turn up. In the end a kind masseuse turned up at the house at 8pm to treat me on a donation basis. I was a little apprehensive about her waving my bruised foot around in circles but she worked miracles – so much so that I booked her for an hours massage the following day (for a few pounds, which even then she didn’t want to charge me for).

I had fun playing with the kids in the house and hanging out with 16 year housekeeper Rhea. I can’t quite get used to being called Miss Marianne though. After two days of delicious vegetable dinners and my hosts saying ‘wow you really are pure vegetarian’, I asked what spices were used. ‘We put fish sauce instead of salt’ was the answer. I give up! 🤦🏻‍♀️ The green jackfruit cooked in coconut milk was delicious though.

I went out again with the Whale Sharks the next day – Marion had told me about a guest who stayed for two weeks and went everyday, which I now understand. This time I didn’t get such an amazing guide although he did have a Filipino couple to deal with who could not swim – after a few goes hanging off a float they conceded defeat and watched from the boat. You do have be a reasonably confident swimmer as you will be jumping from a moving boat (cue massive bruise on my arm!) and you’ll be swimming in seriously deep water. Thank you parents for swimming lessons when I was a kid!! 🙏

Second time around the whole thing was much more rushed – one time I didn’t jump in time and got left behind on the boat. At least I didn’t get left in the water like one girl when our boat took off a bit too early.

Everybody stopped on the runway and took a photo of the volcano

Having swam with at least 15 whale sharks from baby sized to absolutely huge, I doubted that I could top my experience so I booked a last minute flight to the next destination, Cebu. The cost of booking a flight the day before you travel is extortionate but it was worth every penny to fulfill a dream which had become a bit of an obsession 😎 Next stop, in search of the World’s Smallest Primate…

Welcome to Las Islas de Filipinas, named after the Spanish King Felipe and changed to The Philippines by the Americans who couldn’t get to grips with the name, the final destination of my four month trip and the place that people said I was mad to travel alone. They said it’s dangerous. That there are pirates. That I’ll get kidnapped. What they are missing is that there are over 7000 islands in this archepelago – yes seven thousand. And tourists usually visit the top 10. So it’s not too hard to avoid the tiny minority where it’s not advisable to travel.

I landed in the capital, Manila, to a stifling 40 degree celcius heat (over 100F) and my body didn’t know what had hit it. Gone are the layers of clothes and covering knees and shoulders. The heat is exhausting and the air is hot and suffocating.

At the airport I approached the tourist information to ask where I could find an official taxi, prepared for an Indian style barrage of dodgy taxi drivers hustling for my business. The people behind the desk laughed out loud and pointed me to the ‘Grab station’. Grab is South East Asia’s version of Uber and at the airport they’ve gone one step further and set up a designated pick up area with friendly women ordering cabs for anyone without the Grab app or internet connection and generally keeping things in order. It was the easiest airport transport I’ve taken so far and cost me under £5.

I was also pleasantly surprised by my hostel, Lub D, which had Japanese style pod beds (even if the curtain did only go halfway across) and a cool rooftop bar, where I met Zoe from England and discovered that we’d actually been on the same flight from Osaka a few hours ago. We decided to check out the night life – why waste any time and it was a Friday night! With a recommendation from the barman and taking absolutely nothing with us apart from a concealed money belt with enough cash for the night (no phones felt very liberating!) just in case Manila lived up to it’s bad reputation, we began the ten minute walk. Unfortunately no phone also means no GPS and it wasn’t long before we were back asking for directions again after wandering into the red light district by mistake 🤦🏻‍♀️

We didn’t get back until 3am – it’s good to stay out until you’ve genuinely had enough rather than when you think you should stay out until / get home by. As it turns out nightlife in Manila involves alot of Ed Sheeran remixes (still nothing can beat the Hindi version I heard in India), a lot of dwarves and a lot of local guys telling us they are each other’s cousin. And watered down drinks – best stick to Red Horse beer!

Despite the heat I wanted to see what the much maligned Manila was all about. So I signed up for a bicycle ride around the old walled city, Intramuros (Spanish for ‘within the walls’). And not any old bike – this is the Bambike, handmade from bamboo. They describe themselves as a socio-economic enterprise, providing work to poor communities who make the bikes and directing cash back into schools, education and other social programs. Our group of maybe 12 had three guides who thankfully stopped the crazy traffic when we had to cross the roads.

I really enjoyed it and learned a lot, combined with my visit to the Ayala Museum. Imelda Marcos is not just the woman with a thousand shoes! She was the Philippines first lady during the marshal law period under Ferdinand Marcos. The shoes were left behind when they fled to Hawaii in 1986 and the bulk of their $5-10 BILLION fortune was never found.

The old town was destroyed in the second world war but was rebuilt in an effort to preserve the history and also attract tourists. It felt a bit like an old Spanish town, not surprising as these islands have been ruled by the Spanish, English, Japanese and USA with Japanese rule being particularly brutal. And the Chinese influence can be seen on the Cathedral in the form of pineapples!

In fact Manila was the second most devastated allied city in WW2. The guide pointed out that the cannon inside the walls is pointed at the US embassy – it’s apparently still loaded. I haven’t been able to verify this fact yet!

The history of these islands is fascinating. Dating back to when the Austronesians moved through The Philippines and Mariana Islands to Madagascar, it was a trading route from Acapulco, Mexico where boats traded Mexican silver. I won’t write too much on the history now as I don’t have a good enough Internet connection to verify all the facts – but even the Freemasons settled here.

The Philippines national hero is José Rizal, who like many of his South and Central American counterparts was a small man of just 4 foot 11 inches tall. In his short life before he was executed by firing squad at the age of 35, he apparently spoke 22 languages. He is credited with starting the movement that eventually lead to independence.

I heard horror stories of Japanese brutality direct from grandchildren of victims – locals I met in cafes or on tours. Filipinos are really open and friendly, especially the women. And they speak English with almost a Caribbean twang. The local language is a mix of Tagalog, Spanish and English words and differs by region. After getting lost in the complex history, including the Spanish selling the islands to the USA for $20 million, it left me thinking why can’t western countries just leave everyone else alone.

My hostel was in the Makati neighbourhood, like much of the accommodation, which is undoubtedly the upmarket end. Travelling is often a compromise between wanting to experience the real city but not wanting to be too scared to leave your accommodation!

Two days was enough before I found myself hiding out in an air conditioned shopping mall to escape the heat. Time to move on – via my first Filipino night bus heading 10 hours north to the rice terraces of Banaue. You know that gap in between seats on a bus, usually known as an aisle? It turns out that it can be filled with pull out seats. After I naively thought I might get a two seater to myself, the bus filled up. It was a little bit funny to watch some backpackers get on a few minutes before departure and see their faces when they realised they would be spending 10 hours on a fold out child sized seat 🙊

Crammed in between two Filipino lads either side of me (atleast I had a proper seat) and with the bus stopping every few hours I had no sleep yet again. I was wondering why I keep doing this to myself when I arrived in the lush green paradise that is Banaue. The views from my place, Bogah Homestay, were just beautiful.

The locals call these rice terraces the 8th wonder of the world and when I got out on a guided tour later that day, after a couple of hours sleep and a local filter coffee, I understood why.

My lovely guide Conchita, with her hat of freshly picked leaves, asked if I wanted to walk a bit further via the festival that was happening in one of the villages. Of course I did! She picked a giant leaf to shade my own head and we set off through the rice fields. This means balancing on narrow ‘paths’ between the watery terraces at a brisk pace, trying to take in the views but not fall off. See video below before I put my phone away and concentrated on where I was going!

We stopped at a school which was closed for the festival and full of people eating and drinking. Soon some lukewarm rice and a plate of freshly picked lettuce was placed in front of me and a cup was filled with dark brown rice liquor – they don’t know the alcohol content of this local drink but claimed it was medicinal. I wasn’t planning on hiking after a few glasses of probably 50% proof but I couldn’t be rude and refuse 🤷🏻‍♀️

I couldn’t get over how GREEN everything is. Lush, tropical green. These huge rice fields are divided into smaller patches owned by different families, mostly to feed themselves rather than to sell. Rice is a stable of every meal. I can’t imagine the fitness required to live and work these terraces – my legs were aching and the heat is relentless. Tiny old ladies passed us in flip flops carrying heavy bags on their heads.

We stopped by a hot springs, which had a strong sulfur smell – this time bathing suit was definitely required!! Actually I was the only one in a bikini as the locals go in fully clothed. It was really nice and refreshing after the stairs up – these springs are only accessible on foot.

The way it works here is that you go on day or multi-day hikes with local guides. There is a lot of registering required where you have to write your name, age and marital status. ‘You’re alone? Where’s your husband?’ soon became the standard question 😂 In an effort to save money, the next day I hijacked a Middle Aged German man’s tour to some nearby rice terraces.

Let me introduce the new forms of transport I discovered in The Philippines – the tricycle and the jeepney. The tricycle is a moped with an attached side car, generally falling to bits and pieced together with bits of metal and plastic.

The jeepney is a throwback to the US occupation – these are old army jeeps that have been converted to carry a load of passengers in the back, and pimped up in the style of Indian buses. They actually manufacturer them now and apparently an electric jeepney exists.

Filipinos love kareoke and country music – I took the video below of a great country tune blasting out over the hillside 😎

The tiny village of Batad is also only accessible by foot, or a number of steps to be more accurate. It’s absolutely beautiful – the rice terraces are sky high. There is photo opportunity after photo opportunity. Our guide said only last week one of his guests fell off he edge (she survived). Consider that everything has to be carried up and down by hand, including building materials for houses – I saw many men carrying sacks of sand. Access to medical care is a problem as if a person is too sick to climb the steps to the main road they must be carried.

The steepest part of all was the Stairway to Heaven. Climbing down was a challenge and I was grateful for the stick the guide provided.

We stopped at a waterfall where we could swim. Unfortunately the changing room had recently been destroyed by rain so our guide pinned a sheet to some rocks to cover my modesty. Everybody in the vicinity smiled encouragingly and urged me to go and get changed. One woman even asked me to pose for a photo with her child. So I had no choice really, even if you could see my head sticking out the top and probably a lot more. Still, swimming under the waterfall made it all worth it, even the ridiculously steep climb back up.

Evenings here are quiet. Apart from the kareoke which starts at 6am and never stops and the lurid green lime and gin 🤦🏻‍♀️

I could have stayed here for days but my time in The Philippines is limited and I needed to get to the island of Luzon to see the whale sharks….