Category: Hawaii

Days 10-15, Kona, Hawaii

Accommodation: Polynesian Style Guesthouse 

Travel companion: Helen

We left the Hippy Junkyard and drove across the island on the ‘Saddle Road’, between the two volcanoes making a stop in Hilo on the way. We are loving driving Sally with the top down, speeding along the highway and stopping at the best road services ever – no Welcome Break here but a space themed adult (we think) playground where we spent half hour spinning around and screaming our heads off.

Car honk  tally: lost count.

Car damage tally: 2-1 to Helen (she likes driving into the curb whereas I’m more dangerous in a parking lot)

We’ve got into the American way and now drive everywhere even when we could walk. “Hawaiians don’t honk!” everyone says – even the car honked at us when we attempted to leave the key inside the boot. We had the realisation that between us it took 7 or 8 attempts to pass our tests so maybe it’s us…

Kona has a totally different feel to Maui’s Kihei – the strip malls have been replaced with beachfront restaurants. We found our next Air BnB without getting lost and couldn’t believe our luck. We have a granny annix to ourselves next to Toni and Dave’s house, complete with swimming pool and framed by palm trees. Fresh flowers, coffee machine, Nutribullet and a bottle of wine are waiting for us and we wake up in awe that we are not in a Junkyard and we don’t need to go outside to the toilet.

Best of all, there are three other residents – the gorgeous doggies! Pua (the big one), Little Baby (the white fluffy one) and Tito (the tiny one with attitude). I fell in love with Tito immediately. Toni and Dave are lovely and Dave must have heard our attempts to reverse out of the driveway as he soon moves his car out of the way.

We only had one planned activity on this side of the island as we wanted a few days of relaxing after a busy time Volcanoing – a sunset and stargazing tour up Mauna Kea which just happened to be on Valentines Day.

The chatty Daisy picked up us and some po faced Middle Aged Americans (the first mean ones we’ve met) and drove us in a 4×4 up to the snow capped summit. We put on all our layers and provided huge fleeces and it was still freezing! The view is spectacular- there are several huge telescopes up here and it’s where they simulated the Mars rover. Literally above the clouds, we could feel the 11,000 feet altitude (obviously we should be dead by now according to the health warnings). After sunset there was a stargazing talk and telescopes ready to view Venus, Mars, the Andromeda Galaxy and the Orion Nebulae. Amazing!

The mornings have been spent playing with the dogs, drinking coffee and making smoothies and the afternoons at the beaches or the Mall.

We spent a lot of time at The Mall, fascinated by the ‘Drug Store’ that sells booze and the book shop with resident cat. Once a week there is a free craft workshop, which had our name all over it. Run by some lovely old ladies, we learned to make traditional flower Leis and Leaf necklaces which we wore non stop.

Also  free was a Hula show – we finally got to experience some Hawaiian culture and learn a little about traditions.

We came across the rocks of the End of the World by accident with their giant waves – a bonus since this place  was on my List.

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We have a tiny bay directly opposite the house and can take our backpack beach chairs and a beer down there – these have to be one of the best inventions ever!

We are also close to one of the best snorkelling beaches although the sea is uncharacteristicly rough. Helen went for a swim and, unlike on Maui, avoided being named and shamed over the tannoy by the lifeguards for swimming into a riptide. Luckily the sea calmed down and the Green Sea Turtles made an appearance – loads of them hanging out in the shallow waters. It’s a federal offence to get within a few feet of these protected creatures – surprisingly hard to adhere to as they look like rocks. 

We also got the chance to see Hawaii’s country rock star, Henry Kapono who was in town, and could take advantage of the Trolley Bus – no driving means happy hour cocktails!! It also means getting shouted at by the Police once again although this time it was a jovial ‘don’t spill your beer!’ as we ran for the bus.We finally had time for our holiday tradition of Bananagrams. This time it’s Hawaiian Rules – focus on making words relevant to the trip, like ‘Tito’, ‘Junkyard’ and ‘Volcano’. Happy times especially when the dogs joined in.

And that marks the end of the first two weeks and Hawaii. We’ve ticked off most things that made it on to the Lists and geeked out to our hearts content. Helen presented me with an I ❤️ Geography pencil which I will try not to lose (two weeks in I’ve lost pyjamas, a tshirt and sunglasses).

It was a tense journey to the airport and the longest 7 miles of our lives as we ran out of gas (we are supposed to return it empty but perhaps we took that too literally). Driving down the highway the reading dropped to 5 miles and we were preparing to get out and push.

Helen is sadly going home after a night in LA whilst I’m heading to Mexico to visit some of my oldest friends and attend a wedding celebration… Hawaii you have been beautiful! Aloha! 🌺 

Days 7-10, Pahoa, The Big Island

Accommodation: Hedonesia Sustainable  Community aka hippy junkyard 

Travel companion: Helen

45 minutes in the air and we landed back in the 1970s, tiny Hilo airport. We headed straight to the Budget desk expecting to pickup our Ford Focus, the woman at the desk announced she was all out of them so we’d been upgraded. To a red convertible Mustang. We looked at each other in horror – surely we can’t drive that?! But as soon as we got in and put the top down we were hooked – this is what we’ve been missing out on!

We hit the road south to Pahoa and got thoroughly lost enroute to our next lodging, which was obviously another (former) Junkyard, known as Hedonesia Sustainable Community. Booking this seemed a good idea at the time. Turning up in our Mustang next to a flower power van, not so much.

A fake hippy showed us to our ‘luxury bungalow with sea view’ – obviously before the jungle grew up, and the outdoor toilet WITH NO DOOR. In the light of day I realised there was indeed a toilet door, it’s actually really cool showering in nature and the gaps in the windows just that meant Lizzy Lizard could come in and eat the mosquitos – we were warming to Hippyville.

The community has a lot people living here, apparently volunteering. But what they are actually doing we had no idea apart from sitting around downloading movies – the veggie garden was tiny and the kitchen was filthy. “Man I get so HIGH when a scene is shot to perfection!” “Oh my GOD so do I, like sooo high man!!” A girl lectured us on not rushing around to see things, take your time.

First expedition was to Volcanoes National Park to get our geography geek on. Wow – driving the Chain of Craters through black volcanic lava rock from eruptions in the last few decades. Very eery and Mordor like. This is the world’s most active volcano and we were walking on it. The plume of gases was clearly visible – complete with American ‘don’t sue me’ death warnings at every corner. People like me with asthma will apparently die on the spot.

Lots of stuff to learn – this is the youngest  island in the chain that makes up Hawaii. They are gradually drifting over the hotspot, rising up from the ocean, erupting and eventually sinking back down again. There is a baby island that’s still under the sea. And Pele is the goddess of the volcano.

Next day we hit the rock pools for some snorkelling –  not the ankle deep pools we expected but vast pools leading into the ocean and big colourful fish. We didn’t know that the effect of the water currents and temperatures blurs your vision from time to time – freaky experience! 

The main event was to see ACTUAL LAVA. You may have seen it on the news recently- the lava ‘tap’ has opened and lava is currently pouring into the ocean. To see this you need to do an 8.5 mile round trip hike. The death warnings said we needed four litres of water per person (I couldn’t actually stand up the weight of more than 2), we need to keep downwind of the sulphur gas or we’ll die and we shouldn’t put our belongings on the ground in front of a lava flow. I spent a while pondering if this would be a lot of effort for a barely visible sight and maybe we’d be underwhelmed. But we’d come to see Lava and Lava we would see!!

We set off before sunset and hires bikes from the amazingly named Kimbal Trump, who explained bike mechanics that went over my head. Eventually he put it into gear and said just don’t touch it. Kitted up with headlamps and helmets off we went! It turned out to be an easy ride for us although it’s over the thick gravel of the Evacuation Route from a previous eruption. As the sun went down we gathered on the black lava rocks which are so fresh some of them crumbled under our feet, and watched red hot lava pouring out of the earth into the ocean. Here is a video with Helen’s commentary … disclaimer BAD LANGUAGE’ 

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 After watching for a while we ventured out to look for lava underfoot but with the rocks moving and crumbling in pitch black we reluctantly located our bikes and headed back past all the Middle Ages Americans huffing and puffing and wheeling their bikes. One family of four complained they had run out of water – well they clearly hadn’t brought the mandatory 16 litres!! 

I discovered that I love mountain biking in the dark – the night sky was incredibly clear with Venus and Mars and as we rode the moon was rising. My favourite moment of the trip so far.

That night we saw the girl who had told us to not rush – she’d fallen off her bike and broken her arm and was now stuck there. Valuable lessons to be learned – don’t fall into the trap of imagining something isn’t worth the effort or that you have all the time in the world – just do it!

Days 1-7, Maui, Hawaii. 

Accommodation: Ed’s Tin Shack, Kihei

Travel companion: Helen

The trip has begun – kicking off with two weeks in Hawaii with Helen. We used to live together and haven’t killed each other yet. Our travel style is to make Lists, write journals and play Bananagrams wherever possible. We are attempting to do Hawaii on a budget so we are staying in what’s essentially a tin shack in a junkyard run by the longhaired ageing hippy Ed.

Kihei itself is an underwhelming American retirement zone of strip malls. Actual zimmerframes and mobility cars line the beach. What Kihei does have going for it is Whales – lots of them visible from the shore, breaching, tail slapping and blowing water.

We have hired the smallest car available and apparently we are covered for all damage. Good thing, since Helen drove it straight into a pothole and I haven’t got behind the wheel for atleast 3 years. The middle aged Americans appear like zombie hazards at the crossing and we aren’t sure when to stop.

On our first day we drove down to Big Beach and climbed across the rocks to Little Beach aka Naked Beach – home of the Naked Drum Circle made famous by Steven Tyler. Just as Helen mentioned we hadn’t seen any naked bums yet an old man leapt from the bushes and jogged past in all his glory – result! Naked people stood around drumming – we soon realised that you need alcohol or drugs to enjoy this and we were driving, so we left before the tide came in and trapped us for the night.

Next up was Driving the Road to Hana. This is a mini road trip east to Hana where “the drive is part of the journey”. Which means hairpin bends and 56 single lane bridges, with scenic stops on the way. Highlights were Coconut Glens all vegan ice cream shack, Hawaii classic rock radio and learning the Hawaiian ‘call me’ hand signal we keep getting from other drivers is a greeting and does not in fact mean wanker. Car honk tally 3-2 to Helen – bonus points for getting us nicked in a a police speed trap at 25mph and not noticing until they shouted “TWENNY!!!!” through the window – we are hoping this was just a warning.

Later in the week we drove up the West coast beaches, took in some history at the Lahaina museum (basically Missionaries, sugar camps and the American takeover) and made a date with the Sunset  Ceremony at Fleetwoods, the bar run by Mick who sadly wasn’t in residence as the flag wasn’t flying. This turned out to be a bizarre stand up routine from a Scottish bagpipe player and a rendition of what sounded like If You’re Happy And You Know It Clap Your Hands but was apparently from the Adams Family. He lectured us on experiencing the true Maui culture – but we are still none the wiser on what makes up a local Hawaiian. The Middle Aged Americans loved talking to us and guessing where we are from – most have been to Hawaii about 20 times. 

Even more bizarre was a browse in Mick’s gallery that turned into the keen shop assistant forcing us to get into Mick’s old car complete with driving cap and his Mum’s sun hat for a photo. Either we were supposed to tip him or he just really really loves Mick.

My favourite part of Maui was a snorkelling trip to the Molokini crater via a very fast raft, complete with American enthusiasm- everything is AWESOME and we are going to have THE BEST DAY EVER!!! It ranked pretty high – you can swim around the crater drop offs. Complete with dozens of whales breaching close by and then something amazing happened – over 30 spinner dolphins surrounded the raft and swam alongside for the best part of an hour. The American enthusiasm was infectious and soon everyone was cheering as they jumped and span whilst the music system played Tiny Dancer.

Our last day on Maui started with a glass of Ed’s Green Juice, which he claimed had so many ingredients he couldn’t possibly list them. We ticked a few more things off our Lists today- food trucks, Shave Ice and a tour of the Maui Brewing Company which turned into four hours of playing Connect4. Driving everywhere has its drawbacks –  there are rarely non alcoholic drinks on the menu and nobody else seems to care.

And that’s the whistlestop tour of Maui – next stop the Big Island!