Author: mazontheroadagain

Rishikish, India

I’m standing on the banks of the river Ganges alongside my fellow students, arms outstretched, looking up into the clear night sky and shouting at the top of my voice ‘Mamma Mia!! Thank you Universe!!’. Bemused diners at the nearby restaurant are looking and people are coming out onto their balconies to see who the nutters are. My first thought is that I won’t be able to come back here for a coffee tomorrow! (Not that I can afford it anyway – I have 3 rupees in my purse until unless I find that elusive ATM).)

I’m in Rishikish, North India and The Doctor is teaching us to ‘hug the sky’. We repeat after him as he shouts unashamedly into the darkness… ‘I am a happy soul! I am an extremely happy soul !’…’I’m extremely embarassed’ mutters the girl next to me, who has only just arrived at the Ashram. The Doctor continues enthusiasticly with ‘Thank you ex girlfriends! Thank you ex boyfriends!’ which the man the other side of me isn’t quite so keen to repeat. By the time we get to ‘Ooh la la!’ I’m sure he’s either completely mad or just having a laugh – but then again this is the third time I’ve done this and the fact we are all laughing by now is kind of the point. The Doctor, who just might be the happiest person I’ve ever met, explains that if we start and end our day with gratitude, the rest will take care of itself. He also assures me that 3 rupees is a lucky amount to hold.

To backtrack, I’m at a Yoga and Ayurvedic Retreat, run by the Maa Yoga Ashram in Rishikish, North India for a week of intense yoga and detox. And where better than the birthplace of yoga, Rishikish? Nestled at the base of the Himalayas, with the river Ganges running under the Monkey Bridge, it’s awash with Ashras, yoga training and various other courses (think sound and gong therapy and you get the drift). Even the Beatles loved it here – there is an Ashram in their honour.

It turns out that I picked a good one with Maa Yoga. When I arrived on the Sunday night I was a bit of a mess, spluttering away with a cough, aching back and feeling quite stressed out. But but the end of the week I’m on top of the world…. how? Read on 😎

The schedule is as above – with the addition of 5.30am Chakra Cleansing class with The Doctor himself. I’m ashamed to say I only made this class twice, along with half of the group – the wakeup call was just that bit too early!

From the moment I arrived everybody was so kind, from the doctors, the smiling ladies at reception, the wonderful massage and therapy women, the lovely men who prepare and serve the organic veggie food and constantly made me fresh ginger and lemon tea 🙏 and of course the yoga teachers.

The first couple of days were a shock to the system, mainly because of lack of caffeine and sugar and the fact I was ill – it was also freezing cold and pouring down with rain each morning. I even missed a day of classes. But The Doctor insisted on treating me with a herbal paste that you eat with a spoon, cut with gooseberry extract. I don’t know exactly what it was but all I can say is that within a few hours I was feeling like a different person 😎

Included is an ayurvedic consultation where the 4th generation Doctor prescribes treatment based upon your ‘dosha’ type. The advice includes a list of good and bad foods. It’s an ancient system and all very interesting – The Doctor has written a book which I will read when I get home!

There are actually a few doctors here, with photos on the wall showing them in the Whitehouse, with several Miss Indias and the Indian police force – it seems they are quite well known!

There is really no need to leave the ashram as all meals are provided in the communal dining area. Sitting cross legged on the floor to receive meals is a great way to get to know each other. The food is basic but delicious, especially the jaggery (cane sugar) for dessert. By mid week I’d made friends with the other students, some just dropping in, some doing their teacher training, and discovered that people were in fact sneaking out for a cup of coffee and brownie and even a cheeky fag… 🙊 Needless to say the rest of the week was much more fun 😂 I loved the fact this Ashram attracts guests from India as well as the rest of the world.

The only downside is the amount of building work going on, in Rishikish in general. Meditating to the sound of drilling and hammering isn’t quite the peaceful retreat I’d had in mind! But below is unfortunately a common site in this town and there isn’t much the Ashrams can do about it.

The chanting part of the classes takes some getting used to. Especially if you’ve never sat with your eyes closed and your fingers in your ears making a noise like a bumble bee before 🤔 The breathing exercises are also interesting (baby snoring sound anyone?). I must have sung ‘Ohhmm’ a thousand times but these meditation classes were so relaxing in fact, that several people fell asleep each day. It’s an other worldly experience, sitting under blankets in quiet meditation whilst the torrential rain is pounding down on the roof above you – until the water drips on the lucky person sitting under a leak and wakes them up 😂

But it was the yoga that I absolutely adored – a two hour class flies by when you’re simultaneously focusing and having fun. The style of teaching is best described as hands on – the teachers will use their own body weight and happily sit on you if necessary to get you into the pose. You think your leg won’t straighten any further behind your head? Wrong 😎 I have never enjoyed yoga so much before, especially with teacher Sanjay (Sun) who is just lovely. Yoga will be a lifelong practice for me from now on!

Also included are daily ayurvedic treatments, tailored to the individual person but focusing on full body massage, with lots and lots of oil. I should mention that you’re essentially naked for this experience, aside from some lovely paper pants. In the West, you expect the masseuse to leave the room while you undress, and generally to be the only person in the room – not the case here! Let’s just say you quickly make friends with the other guests (girls and boys are totally separate of course – there’s nothing dodgy going on!). Due to lack of English you don’t really know what’s coming next… after a massage that left me with bruises, the woman blindfolded me without saying a word and proceeded to drip oil on my forehead for about half an hour… Everyone accepted there is no point washing their hair this week 😂 Finally she beckoned me over to a wooden box in the the corner, aka the steam bath, which I climbed into it with my head sticking out of a hole in the top – just like being in the stocks… I was waiting to someone to come in and throw rotten fruit at my head. This all might not sound very relaxing, but it is actually AMAZING. By the third day I was practically throwing my clothes on the floor as soon as I got through the door 😂 Luckily, my treatment focused on my cough and did not include therapeutic vomiting or colonic irrigation…. The most intriguing treatment was what my new friend Fernanda and I called ‘the bread’ – what felt like dough was molded in a ring, on various parts of the body, and filled with oil… Funny moments aside, they really want to help you – every single person was concerned for my cough even though I tried to explain it was nothing to worry about.

At the end of the week everyone was talking about the guru Mooji being in town. Mooji is actually from Brixton/Jamaica, but has an Ashram here. I was intrigued so a group of us headed off one morning (skipping meditation class 🙊) to see what all the fuss was about. I was, perhaps wrongly, expecting to hear Mooji’s words of wisdom. We arrived at a huge, modern structure, manned by seemingly hundreds of devotees, silently directing us through airport style security, requesting that we take off our shoes and sit cross legged on the floor. I say silently, because they did not speak a word – they held up signs and pointed instead. It struck me that they were all white, mostly blonde, wearing white robes and with the same brainwashed look in their eyes. The boy closest to me holding the ‘move closer together please’ sign looked like he might actually massacre all of us. We sat wondering what was going on whilst a calm voice delivered some philosophical thoughts over the loud speakers. No sign of Mooji yet. An American woman got on stage and told us The Rules – phones switched off, don’t pet the cows, donations welcome by credit card… and the person who had blocked the road with their car was in a lot of trouble. Later we stood in anticipation of Mooji’s entrance. About an hour after we had arrived, he appeared and sat serenely on the stage, smiling quietly for a while. The place was packed out by now, the vast majority being white people. Eventually he spoke, thanking us for coming and explaining that it’s OK if we don’t understand everything today – that’s good, because I hadn’t understood a word so far. Just when I settled down to listen, he invited questions from the audience (but no questions from those new to his teachings please). A Middle Aged American woman, blonde and wearing white, took the mic, and proceeded to profess her undying love for Mooji and gaze at him with adoration for several minutes before announcing she had suddenly understood everything, and was, in fact, ‘nothing’. They talked for a while about what it means to be nothing, and if this is actually the same as being ‘everything’. As I was thinking we might not get out here alive, a second Middle Aged American woman took the mic and burst into tears of joy. Without wanting to be disrespectful of their experience, this was not what I had come for and I wanted to get back for my massage! Luckily one of my fellow Ashram inmates felt the same and after raising incredulous eyebrows at each other we made a run for it, out the auditorium, past the zombie guides, grabbed our shoes and jumped straight into a waiting tuk tuk, paying probably double to get out of there (well he paid as I still didn’t have any money!) I wasn’t quite sure what I had just witnessed – I would still like to check out Mooji’s teachings some time to see what he is actually all about. He certainly had an air of calm about him. But without the adoring ladies.

Back at the Ashram, one of my favourite experiences was the Hari Krishnas coming to play music at lunchtime. I have mostly ignored them in London, not appreciating how beautiful they can sound. They managed to get even the shyest people on their feet to dance by the end 😎

I recommend this place to everyone – the chance to immerse yourself in a program of activities you wouldn’t normally do, a schedule to stick to (mostly!) and opportunity to learn in a supportive environment. Oh, and I survived on my 3 rupees by the kindness of others – funnily enough on my last day I saw the ATM just a around the corner from the Ashram, where it had been all along 🙏

And that concludes my 7 weeks in India….. only touching the tip of the iceberg for such a huge country that differs immensely from state to state, in language, religion, food, landscapes… India has gone straight on the list of places to return to! Next stop, back to Thailand after 8 years…

Agra and Varanasi

After two hectic days in Jaipur we headed East to Agra via train – where for the first time on this trip I got a proper seat by the window 👏 Agra is the base for visiting the Taj Mahal and we wasted no time hopping in a tuk tuk with driver Mad Mike to get our first glimpse from the Mehtab Bagh Park. The journey is sometimes worth more than the destination – this was the most entertaining ride yet.

In an effort to save about 50p between 6 of us (I know!) we all squeezed into one tuk tuk. This meant Jessie sitting on Adele’s knee and poor Izzie upfront getting cozy with old gap toothed Mike, who asked her to marry him and slapped her thigh at every opportunity. Later she told us he was clearly drunk as a skunk…. On top of the questionable driver we had also picked the worst tuk tuk on the road as it was chugging along at half the speed of every one else, who were openly laughing at us 😂 – we made it to the park with 5 mins to spare before last entry.

We queued for our tickets despite Mike’s best efforts to persuade us to push infront – probably because he’d agreed to wait for us and wouldnt get paid until we got safely home. Which was a near miracle as he drove the wrong way down the road most of the way back.

Next morning we got up at the ungodly hour of 4am to make it to the legendary Taj Mahal for sunrise in order to beat the crowds and get that photo. Annoyingly men and women have to queue separately for security and there were, as always, many more women queuing than men. We almost ran through the gates and there it was, still partially covered in mist, one of the ‘new’ wonders of the world. It’s one of those things you have to see in real life to appreciate.

Some of the group, who had somehow packed a never ending array of stylish outfits into backpacks, had carefully prepared a look for their Taj photoshoot, including full face of makeup. Apart from Gemma and I, who stuck with hiking trousers and jeans as it was bloody freezing! Although we did take our jackets off for a few snaps 😂

The Taj is even more impressive when you understand the history and appreciate the perfect symmetry – the emporer built it for his wife, Mumtaz Mahal, taking over 10 years and costing over $800 million. Symmetry which was unfortunately ruined when his body was buried off centre next to hers. No photos allowed inside, but what looked like intricate paintings covering the marble walls, were actually real gem stones. Inside felt cool and strangely calm despite the number of visitors, each donning protective shoe covers.

Agra itself had more of a gritty feel to it. I went to get my watch strap fixed for 50p (yes it’s already fallen apart again) and somehow ended up in a jewellery shop on a mini spree. The less the shop person hassles me to buy, the less likely I am to haggle and the more I’ll actually pay 🤔

Amazingly, the best was yet to come. We boarded yet another night train, this time a three tier sleeper (how anybody with any health problems gets up I don’t know) where I had to crawl into the middle bunk and stay there. Funny enough I got my serene instagram ‘gazing out of train’ shot by accident when I was on my way to the toilet and a French woman asked me to take her photo then offered to repay the favour 😂

It took over 14 hours to reach Varanasi, our most eastern point, as this train is notorious for delays. Sure enough we awoke to find we’d stopped for 4 hours.

Varanasi is extremely important for Hindus, who travel from all over on pilgrimage to bathe in the holy river Ganges.

This is also a place where people come to die. Everyday day bodies are burned by the riverside.

Varanasi is absolutely insane – neither words nor photos convey the pure chaos of the main streets. Nor do they convey the strange calm over the river.

Unfortunately the sacred sites have become a tourist spectacle, with boatloads of visitors cruising up and down the river to get a look at the cremations. I found this extremely disrespectful and had I known the nature of our sunrise trip, I would not have gone. Note to self – do more research, even if on an organised tour. Worst of all were the tourists snapping away with zoom lenses at locals bathing in the holy water, as if they were on safari. I took a photo of them to illustrate.

The streets are so crowded that you must walk single file, amongst the cars, mopeds, bicycles, rickshaws, tuk tuks and pedestrians, and the never ending honking of horns. We were barely able to keep sight of each other and keep up without getting our feet runover. See video below!

The alleyways near the river are quiter – you can spend half a day wandering around and getting lost amongst the tailor shops. The below shop keeper was happy to pose!

Be prepared to see people carrying their loved ones, covered in cloth, to the cremation area. This is a hard thing to see – but an essential part of life here.

Dotted around the river are the Sadhus – these are the Holy men, mostly naked, with an orange robe and long hair, often with their faces painted white, who live outside of society. No photos – we also saw yoga of another kind being practiced. Let’s just say it involved a naked old man using a stick in a very interesting way to lift another man up in the air 🙈🙉🙊

We witnessed the nightly rituals, where priests played the drums, sung, chanted and waved lights and incense around. This happens every night and it was certainly an experience. Video below.

Our last day we had some free time to visit the site of Buddha’s enlightenment and his first sermon, Sarnath. I found this fascinating. The stupa has since been rebuilt but the original ruins are just visible. We took a guided tour with a monk, because we liked him and he took us to peer through a hole in the fence to see the stupa instead of paying an extortionate fee to go in 🙂

To conclude this post, the Taj was something you just have to see in India. It’s undoubtably beautiful. It’s also obscenely extravagant for a country with such poverty. But Varanasi is the India I had imagined, and then some – utterly fascinating and overwhelming. I’m so grateful I was able to experience it!

Jaipur and Agra.

It was finally time to visit Jaipur, the Golden City, and one of the most hyped destinations on our trip. Everytime I asked Tour Guide Manny where I could buy something, or do something, the answer was ‘Jaipur’ – there was a lot riding on this town…

We started with a walk through the busy streets with hundreds of tiny open shops, huge sacks out front overflowing with red chillies and spices. I bought masala tea and mouth fresheners (containing cardamon, tiny sugar lumps, aniseed and a delicious assortment of spices) that I eat like sweets, much to Tour Guide Manny’s disgust.

Jaipur was less touristsy and much bigger and busier than I expected – very different to Udaipur. Dinner was an unexpected highlight – Manny said we were going to ‘The Garage’. I thought this must be a trendy restaurant. When we arrived at an actual garage, with vintage cars and mechanics, we were perplexed. ‘I told you we were eating at the garage’ said an exasperated Manny McPhee. And it was really, really good! A basic tandoori menu of bbq veggies and accompanying veg curry, served with a speciality thin roti bread. With a beer of course.

The low point was a small girl practically chasing our tuk tuk asking for ‘chapati’ – unfortunately I didn’t see her approach and in the moonlight she looked quite creepy so naturally I screamed the place down 😬

The next day I got to experience one of the best moments of my life, in a hot air balloon ride over rural Jaipur. This was a generous leaving gift from my ex Google colleagues and I was delighted to have the opportunity to follow it up. Even though it meant leaving at 5am.

The balloon basket was smaller than I expected, though the actual balloon was huge – and so were the flames coming out of it! It gets surprisingly warm so close to those flames, so I didn’t really need the fleece and insulated hiking jacket I had borrowed from Gemma 🤦🏻‍♀️

We started off at fairly low height of 300m – flying over farmyards where the buildings, people and cows looked like lego pieces.

The best part was how the people came out of their homes to wave and shout Hello as we flew overhead! The Spanish pilot explained that he doesn’t really fly the balloon, the wind does – so every day is different.

He took us up over 1000m to cross the mountain range and get a stunning view of the sunrise. Indeed we watched the sun rise a few times over the mountains – I can’t imagine any sunrise in future can top that! I saw lots of sandmines in between the farms.

After an hour, having travelled 40km, it was time to land. We were taught both ‘soft landing’ where we just hold on to the safety handles, and ‘hard landing’ where we squat down totally inside the balloon. Suddenly we are approaching multiple power cables and flying towards the motorway and the pilot is shouting ‘prepare for HARD landing’ and the Middle Aged Americans the other side of me are preparing to die. But it was a false alarm, as the pilot then cheerfully explained he had enough gas to continue for another hour so we simply cruised along until the conditions were right for an easy landing in a field, where a solitary cow wandered over to investigate 😎

Because you always land in a different place, people aren’t necessarily expecting a balloon full of white people to land in their backyard. The cow was soon followed by hoards of curious villagers in traditional dress. The men hung back but the smiling women and children surrounded us. I couldn’t resist asking if I could take a photo and they all ran to squeeze in – my favourite was the grinning old lady on the right who sneaked in at the last minute.

Even the drive back to the hotel was fun as the driver spotted his father’s best friend, a milk seller with turban and impressive curvy moustache, riding a moped along side us. The driver then showed me the laminated list of driver rules, which stated that hair must be brushed, teeth cleaned and strictly no beards or moustache allowed. Otherwise he too would have a matching ‘tache. I said goodbye to the Middle Aged Americans from the balloon, who were Trump voting Texans, after listening to one of them boast about hacking his son in law’s emails and getting him fired and lots more that definitely isn’t legal.

As soon as I was dropped off at 9.30 am, the group was waiting for me and we were off to visit Jaipur’s beautiful fort. This fort topped all of the others in my opinion. Let the photoshoot commence!

We wandered through the King’s impressive wing, all marble and glass and mirrors and bright colours, before visiting the Queen’s slightly less spectacular quarters. She did not leave the fort, only looking through the holes in the windows.

Suddenly I heard ‘Mary Anne, it is you!’ – it was the Middle Aged Americans from the balloon, also visiting the fort. ‘Did you take the elephant ride up? It was awesome!’. – ‘No, I’m against animal cruelty’. Silence 😂

Jaipur is renouned for gemstones and there was an opportunity to get some custom made jewellery. But some of us didn’t want to pay the price and opted instead for the markets. What we got instead was aggressive salesmen and cheap anklets that have already turned my skin green 🙄 I was actually chased down the street by a tiny man over the price of a fridge magnet (which I later had to eat humble pie and go back and buy) so Gemma and I gave up and found a cute little coffee shop / gallery where we had a fascinating chat with a local guy. He started the conversation by telling us he’d been to Brighton and often heard the expression ‘Hello Sailor’ – and what did that mean? Umm…. we politely explained that whoever said that was probably gay. This sparked an interesting conversation on homosexuality in India, which is still taboo – you’ll frequently see men holding hands as purely a gesture of friendship.

We concluded Jaipur with the latest Bollywood blockbuster at the famous Raj Mandir cinema. There were no subtitles in the 2.5 hour movie ‘Manikarnika – The Queen of Jansi’ so I planned to leave half way through. But come the interval we were all thoroughly in love with this epic movie based on the real life warrior Queen and had mostly followed the plot. Tour Guide Manny had conveniently picked a seat far away from our lot, so we couldn’t pester him about what was going on. I’m now a Bollywood fan!

I planned to write about Agra and the Taj Mahal in this post as well, but will leave that for the next update…

Jodpur, Udaipur, Pushkar, Tordi Sagar

It’s been near impossible to keep up to date on this blog or write a single word in my journal as the shoestring tour never stops…. I’m finally catching up from my ashram in Rishikish although I’ve been deliberately on a digital detox as well as physical and spiritual for the last week! We continued the tour with two consecutive days of 5am bus journeys – long, uncomfortable local bus journeys but that’s all part of the experience! I’m sure tour guide Manny prepares us for the worst as we are usually pleasantly surprised – I knew the bus wouldn’t really have wooden benches 🤔 although one of our group did find an actual rats head in their bed…

Any ideas of sleep on the bus were out the window – this is the sound of the horn, which the driver used pretty much non stop!

First stop Jodpur, the Blue City. Our hotel was out of town as usual (it is a Shoestring tour) so we didn’t actually see any blue until we visited the Fort, which we didn’t actually enter due to the cost (remember it is a Shoestring tour).

The main bazaar in Jodpur was fun – it revolves around a fluorescent clock tower and crazy roundabout.

Onwards to Udaipur, which turned out to be my favourite place so far. It’s slightly quieter will a myriad of winding streets and little shops. By now we’d broken off into smaller groups and a few of my gang discovered we have a penchant for doorknobs – which for some reason are for sale everywhere here for 20p. Cue another buying frenzy, frantically rooting through boxes of dirty but colourful door knobs, not realising the clean new ones were out the back. Apparently I’ll be upcyling when I get home.

I’ve realised that ‘free time’ on this tour is just a myth – the time warp will absorb every last minute until it’s time for dinner. Service is notoriously slow – there is also no such thing as a quick meal (once we were served three courses of hummus which still took two hours and became known as the Hummus Incident). Neither can you buy a glass of wine – it’s a pint of ‘domestic wine’ or nothing 😂

Udaipur’s stunning fort

Udaipur offered the chance for a painting class which was great fun, lying on the floor of a local artist hangout drinking chai tea and trying our hand with natural paints – we just had to make the difficult choice of drawing a camel or elephant (“Manny, help!!”)

I was quite proud of my camel until I compared it to the professional version. The artist also painted our fingernails with a twist!

In the evening we went to a cultural show which was brilliant, not the tourist trap I had imagined.

A 80 something year old woman balanced more and more pots on her head whist shimmying around (see video below), beautifully dressed ladies performed a sitting down dance jangling bells, and there was a bizarre fight scene with a man riding on the back of another man dressed as some kind of animal, but the highlight was the old puppet master who did things with a belly dancing puppet I didn’t know were possible. I was too transfixed to take many photos.

We enjoyed more rooftop dinners with stunning views… I really liked Udapur, even with all the posters of Judi Dench from that Marigold movie.

We hopped on another insanely busy train to the holy town Pushkar (vegetarian, no eggs, no alcohol, LOTS of cows in the street and LOTS of drugs taken to compensate).

All the early mornings, long journeys with no toilets and snacking in place of meals is taking its toll. As my roommate Gemma said, we shrivel like prunes on these journeys, rationing our water and stuffing our faces with sugary snacks which we buy in bulk the night before in some kind of group ritual. I was just about to finally dose off on the train when an old woman threw a baseball cap at my head – apparently her way of reserving a non existent seat next to me. And whilst there was a toilet, it was physically impossible to reach it.

What I do like about the trains in India is the Chai men – whenever you fancy a cup of Chai tea, a man will appear out of nowhere and sell you one for about 10p. Also fun is the ‘Chips, Biscuit, Caaaaake’ man who walks up and down the aisles announcing his wares in a fantastically monotone voice 😂

So busy was this train that we very nearly didn’t make it off at all. Hordes of men stormed the narrow doorway and pushed their way on before anyone could get off, including the 18 of us with our backpacks and numerous families with suitcases. Luckily tour guide Manny had a word and they stepped aside so nobody was left behind! We all agreed that if we had been left behind we probably would have burst into tears and never let go of tour guide Manny again.

Our next stop was the village of Tordi Sagar, where I thought we were staying in a home stay, so was mentally prepared for a squat toilet and bucket shower. I was amazed to find we were actually staying in the local mansion, complete with huge balconies and gorgeous rooms with stained glass windows. This is the life!

We had an interesting walk around the village where we learned more about the Caste system (basically you’re born into one of four ‘castes’ which dictates your job opportunities and life in general, although things are gradually changing ). At the bottom are the ‘Untouchables’, who do the dirty work and at the top are the Brahmins. This explains it better than I can. Our group also had a game of cricket with the locals, who were clearly waiting for us to clear off so they could have a proper match. I watched until I was accosted by village kids who stole my water bottle then helpfully refilled it from a dirty tap and returned it to me 😬

Below are lots of photos because I’m too tired to write anymore words!

And that’s the quick version of the highlights from our second week on tour – next up the big three, Jaipur, Agra and Varanasi…

Delhi, Bikaner, Thar Desert, Jaisalmer

Days 28-35

I’ve swapped solo travel for the safety net of a fast paced GAdventures group trip around Rajasthan and I’m loving it! I’ve been lucky to get an awesome roommate and great group of people (mostly girls) who get on surprisingly well for strangers now together 24/7. It’s like being away with a huge group of mates! We are so busy that halfway through I’m only just finding time and wifi to write it all down…

In a short space of time we’ve become a collective needy child, incapable of making any decisions without whining at our long suffering tour guide, Manny McPhee. Nobody can pronounce his real name. ‘Manny, I need water!’, ‘Manny, I need the toilet!’, ‘Manny, wipe my bum!’ (OK the last one was made up by my roommate Gemma) 😂

On to the actual tour, we’ve covered a huge amount of distance in the last ten days and if we’re not on a bus or a train, we are kept busy with activities. There is no way I could have seen so much on my own – the 4.30am wakeup calls would not have happened! Starting in Delhi, we walked around the new Town and visited the Salaam Baalak Trust, a charity helping street kids (sadly there are a lot) as well as the beautiful Humayan Tomb (designed by the same person as the Taj Mahal) and the India Gate where we proved to be the main attraction for Indian visitors. ‘Selfie mam?’

We also visited a very welcoming Sikh temple where they feed 10,000 people a day (we got to sample the delicious dalh and roti, sitting cross legged on the floor) and a Muslim temple (where most of the group got conned into paying for a ‘camera pass’), both firsts for me.

I could not believe how cold it was – I’ve been wearing pretty much all of my clothes at once and still freezing. I’ve taken to getting in my sleeping bag on the train.

We jumped straight on to a night train west to the desert city of Bikaner, close to the Pakistan border, then straight onto camels for a trek into the Thar desert where we would camp overnight – ‘enjoy a blissful nights sleep under a blanket of stars’ read the itinary.

The reality was that we bumped for a couple of hours through shrub land covered in electrical cables before stopping in a campsite next to a huge house only a half hour drive from where we started. In hindsight I should have made my feelings on animal tourism clear and not participate.

No blissful nights sleep either as the group started to drop like flies with the dreaded Delhi belly, emerging from their tents in the morning like the walking dead. We’ve become very familiar with each others toilet habits – we’re all friends here!! The rest of us were on edge hoping we weren’t next 😬 Safe to say nobody bothered watching the sunrise!

Things picked up the next day those of us who hadn’t gone down with the plague visited the Rat Temple, home to thousands of lovely rats. It’s not the dark dungeon I had imagined – it’s a white temple with cute little rats (if you like rats like I do) running around, sniffing your bare toes and drinking milk from bowls. See video evidence below!

Unfortunately we didn’t see a white rat – legend has it that you ask a question about your life, and then you see one, it means go for it. If not, it’s not the right time.

The hotels in India are just amazing… The name of this tour is ‘Rajasthan on a Shoe String’ so we were expecting dirty hostels but in Bikaner we stayed in the Bhairon Villas owned by actual Indian Royalty – and the Prince was in residence.

And not only was he in residence but he was serving behind the bar and spinning the tunes. The bar is my fantasy room – all animal print, masks and antique swords from his collection. The Indian rum was amazing too.

Next day we got back on the train and followed the border south west to Jaisalmer, the ‘Golden City’. What a beautiful place! Dominated by the sandstone fort, it’s all narrow streets filled by shops, cows, dogs and honking mopeds. Our taxi driver played some banging Indian tunes including a version of Ed Sheeran which just works… see video on Facebook!!

I have so many photos of Jaisalmer and the fort that it’s impossible to choose, so here are a few…

We stopped at an authentic shop to learn about the traditional patchwork that Jaisalmer is famous for and somehow got into a buying frenzy – the man kept throwing more and more colourful garments in front of us and we all sat there drinking chai tea, mesmerised before getting our wallets out. I now have to post home a rug that I had no intention of buying 🤔

No rest for the wicked so we were off to the Blue City of Jodpur via a 6 hour surprisingly comfy bus ride….

Days 15-25

I arrived in Mumbai or rather I didn’t – I arrived in Thane, which is actually a couple of hours north of Mumbai. I am staying with my friend of 20 years, Kedar and his family – wife Priya, 4 year old Kimaya and mum Mrs Gaekwad. Kedar and I used to be penpals in our teens, back in the day when schools were happy to share your address with randoms! We have kept in touch and after we met for the first time in London last year, I have come to visit.

Kedar is in the Bollywood film industry! He just won an award for Director of Photography and I’ve had the chance to watch the filming of new Netflix movie Chopsticks on location around Mumbai. I even joined in some background action scenes carrying a shopping bag across the mall 😂

First impressions of India – traffic, honking horns and pollution. Every day my weather app warns of ‘Smoke : Very Unhealthy’ and the vehicles have a thick layer of dust. But consider that more people live in Mumbai than Australia… I’ve taken public transport in many developing countries but this is the first time I feared crossing the ten lanes of traffic that never stops! I asked Kedar how do you cross the road and he replied ‘this is India, the biggest economy in the world’ – ‘But how do cross the road??’ – ‘Oh we don’t think about that’ 😂

And please come back, Sri Lanka trains, all is forgiven!! Taking the train home out of South Mumbai, my only aim was to stay inside the women’s only carriage of the moving vehicle, holding my bag above my head to stop it being ripped off. Who knew tiny women could push with so much force?!

I finally saw a few tourists in the Colaba area in South Mumbai. But only a few. Here you’ll find the Gateway to India which is an impressive arch built to welcome King George V and Queen Mary to India when they arrived by boat.

It’s chaotic – although there are oasis of calm to be found in high end cafes serving raw vegan food and great coffee which I sought out of course. There are a lot of millionaires in Mumbai!

My favourite experience in Mumbai by far was crouching in the back of a van with wide open doors and back, whilst filming scenes of a moped racing through the traffic…

Also nice is a walk along the beach although no swimming as the water is toxic.

I hadn’t quite realised how far my base was from Mumbai so after a couple of days with 5 hours of travel time, I stayed local and indulged in a hair spa which included a head massage and pedicure… And most unexpected, a ‘vibrator’, which I wanted to take a photo of but couldn’t really move at the time. The woman attaches the vibrator to her hand then runs her hand over your head (and face!) to revitalise. I certainly felt wide awake after but that may have been the shock. After we went to a great (all veg) Thali restaurant where they just keep refilling hundreds of little bowls of food:

I also liked the ‘Experiments with Chai’ cafe where you pick what additions you want – having no idea what most of them were I ended up with black tea, masala spice, ginger, basil and some others that I can’t spell. It was surprisingly good!

After a few days off I ventured out to the Kanheri Caves. These are caves with ancient rock carvings high up in the Sanjay Gandhi national park. After another 2 hours in an uber (still only costs a few pounds) I paid my entrance fee and looked for the shuttle bus up to the top of the hill. A man approached and explained that as it was a week day and late morning, the bus wouldn’t be running and I’d have to wait maybe 3 hours. Unless of course I took the private ‘official’ car for £20. £20??! I knew this was a scam so said no thanks, I’ll walk the 7km uphill. Two minutes later the bus (which was indeed running up and down all day) picked me up for the grand sum of 20p. It’s this kind of annoyance that makes travelling here more of a hassle.

At the top of the hill were dozens of caves, containing huge Buddhist carvings and inscription, some dating back to the 1st century. I met some girls from Mumbai who very politely asked for a selfie with me (which turned into about ten photos with each member of the group) and visitors from Thailand who insisted on taking photos for me as I was travelling alone 😎

It’s fascinating to think of people living up here once. Interestingly I didn’t notice any signs about not turning your back to the Buddha here like in Sri Lanka!

Heading off to Nasik now for the weekend and some more temples, before flying to Delhi on Monday and starting my tour of Rajasthan…